Grant a wish.

[Shadowknight]

Granted, but you have to put them on and before you do you suddenly grow hair everywhere that the band-aids have to go.

I wish for a painless way to remove band-aids.

[Crimson Fox]

Granted, but the painless band-aids cost a fortune.

I wish for a grilled cheese sandwich. (Yeah, I'm feeling uninspired at the moment.)

[Shadowknight]

Granted, but it has a picture of the virgin mary on it so you can't eat it.

I wish for a super intelligent goldfish.

[DragonMasterX]

Granted, but he makes you sleep each time you near him as he starts talking about regional history.

I wish for a way to say supercalifragilisticspidalidous without having to use that amount of letters.

[Shadowknight]

Granted, now you're supercalifragilisticexpelalidocious!

I wish for a word that doesn't include vowels.

[DragonMasterX]

Granted, now you must say "tsk" every time you speak.

I wish to have a 25 meter tall Pie for me alone.

[Crimson Fox]

Granted, but it's all stale crust with no filling. Not much of a pie, eh?

I wish for Squall's gunblade.

[Shadowknight]

Granted, but the first time you use it it backfires and shoots the Lion's heart special attack at you.

I wish for the Ragnarok from FFVIII (8)

[Crimson Fox]

Granted, but you don't understand the controls and crash it into a cliff.

I wish for a Crunch candy bar.

[Shadowknight]

Granted, but it's stolen by a bird then it divebombs you.

I wish for a new pair of headphones, my cat chewed up the last pair, and while I'm at it I wish for another cat to replace that one.