Grant a wish.

[The Big Bad Rav]

granted, but happily ever after to your girlfriend is to divorce u and suck out every single bit of cash from you until you have....zip, zero, nada!

I wish I don't feel so constipated without having to poop or pee in my pants everytime

[[MEN] Keiro Starr]

Granted. May I present to you Rav brand adult diapers.

I wish you were all hot girls giving me blowjobs.

[The Big Bad Rav]

granted, but you feel awfully uncomfortable and then u end up traumatized by this

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow

[RaptorSyn]

Granted, you've been laid off.
I wish I had something tasty for breakfast

[[MEN] Keiro Starr]

Granted, here are your Cinnamon toast... CYANIDE TABLETS!!!

I wish I could find a loophole in this game.

[MagusKnight]

granted, but it destroys your mind and you die from a lack of a mind.

I wish I was black, cuz black people are pimpin' yo!

[[MEN] Keiro Starr]

Granted, you are now Uncle Ruckus from the Boondocks. (Season 3 coming soon, W00T!!)

I wish I owned a T-shaped skyscraper.

[GabumonFan]

Granted, unfortunately it was poorly built and falls crushing millions of dollars in property. You have to pay for it all.

I wish I had cookies.

[The Big Bad Rav]

granted, lemme go to the bathroom to make your double chocolate cookies

I wish someone made me shrimp and grits

[Crimson Fox]

Granted. All done! *shows him the hot plate of food* That will be $10.00 + a tip. :P

I wish for a spiked bat.