Grant a wish.

[Lonely Werewolf]

Granted. *Gives you a 35-storey Gundam robot*

I wish I was a female. XD

[MagusKnight]

(You're supposed to screw up the wish so they regret making it...)
Granted, but you had to have sex with a guy who gives you STDs to get it, and you die a horrible, painful death. Filled with much candy.
I wish for a... Deathscythe. Yay gundam.

[The Big Bad Rav]

Granted, but it's beyond repair.

I wish for a massage from a young and sexy woman that doesn't involve anything I fear

[MagusKnight]

Granted, but she is a hermaphrodite, and she massages you with her... well... you know...
I wish fooooor.... A WII! (No penis jokes!)

[The Big Bad Rav]

Granted, but it comes with...No hardware...

I wish my computer had a better...everything

[MagusKnight]

Granted, but it blows up from stress, now you don't have on.
I wish for a golden toilet. xD

[The Big Bad Rav]

granted, it's wrapped in gold spray paint coloured paper and it's toxic!

I wish for a poodle that can guard me

[MagusKnight]

Granted, but it doesn't guard you well, and gets stepped on by a robber, you lose everything in your house.
I wish fooooor.... 9 MORE WISHES!

[The Big Bad Rav]

granted, but you can only wish for the following: Nothing, Nothing and Nothing

I wish for a new MP3

[MagusKnight]

ranted, but it malfunctions and explodes.
I wish for a bob-omb! (The Mario bomb)