Grant a wish.

[Shadowknight]

Granted, just cast ice 9 which will freeze you in suspended animation for all eternity.

I wish I could cast ice 9

[deathseal1390]

granted, but i can cast fire 10

i wish for a waffle (not a blue waffle)

[johalt]

Granted; (>'-')># but you gotta steal it from Kirby first!

I wish I could be more awesome.

[deathseal1390]

*steals the waffle and shoves a cork in his mouth*

granted, now your two awesome and will implode in 2 days

i wish i was a better driver

[Shadowknight]

Granted, but your license gets taken away for no reason and now you can't drive.

I wish I could go super saiyan.

[johalt]

Granted, but only the parody version where your hair grows 12 feet tall.

I wish this shirt would stop itching.

[Mr.E]

Granted, but now it's too big

I wish for a huge orgy with the hottest girls in the world

[Shadowknight]

Granted, but it's filmed on double encrypted and encoded super compressed HD Blu-ray DVDs. And the TV's capable of playing it won't be invented for another 300 years.

I wish I had a drinking fountain that gave mountain dew instead of water.

[johalt]

(I saw that commercial; it was fun)

Granted, but now you're allergic to mountain dew.

I wish I had a rock small enough that it couldn't kill me yet big enough for me to see it even without my glasses or any other magnifying device on.

[deathseal1390]

granted, though it's highly radio-active and the radion will cause horrbly painful mutations that will make you want to die but the mutations prevent it >:D

i wish for.... a pen :3