Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)

[DrunkenMunkee]

yeah, those are all great XD
i wish i had a bird like that...

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

Another wierd joke:

One man, middle age walks into the bar and sits down and gets himself a beer. He had a bad day at work and his wife is about to leave him. A waitress comes by and asks him

Waitress: Why are you so sad?
man: my wife wants to leave me?
Waitress: Why does she want to leave you?
man: I don't know, um, she said that she caught a message from my secretary that proved I had an affair.
Waitress: What did the secretary say?
man: The secretary said that she would enjoy licking them for me, taking them off and then giving me her stack later while showing them off in private...
Waitress: So you really did cheat on her?
man: No, no, she was talking about stamps on employee checks to be mailed out on Friday...

Pretty bad right?.....I got that one from a drunk friend....

~~
lonelygabu~~
~~

[Anonmon]

That was horrible. It was flagrantly obvious the secretary was talking about something to do with postage.

Don't listen to drunk people.

[Shadowknight]

Here's a good one:

A man is working at a hotel when the phone rings, "Front desk."
"There's somebody banging on the wall up here. Could you do something about it?"
After 3 more similar calls the man sent up a busboy to investigate. When he arrived at the room of the offender he opened the door and saw an old man who must have been somewhere in his mid 80's punching the wall.
"Excuse me sir, I'll have to ask you to stop your disturbing the other guests."
The man continued punching the wall as he spoke, "SCREW THE OTHER GUESTS! THIS IS MY FIRST ERECTION IN YEARS AND MY HANDS ARE ASLEEP!"

[Gunter VanCrimson]

lol, nice one.

[Shadowknight]

Last one I can remember (I need to find my joke book) sorry:

A man walks into a bar and notices a large stack of hundred dollar bills on the counter. Curiosity took over as he turned to the bartender, "What's with the money?"
"There's a horse out back, if you can make him cry you win the stack. It's a hundred dollars to try."
The man placed a hundred on the stack and walked out the door. A few moments later the horse's crying could be heard from outside. The man grabbed the stack and walked out the door with a large smile on his face.
A few days later the man returned to the same bar and there was another stack on the counter, "Now what's the bet?"
"That horse hasn't stopped crying. This bet is to make him laugh."
"I'll take it." the man placed another hundred onto the stack and headed into the back. A few seconds later and the horse was heard laughing like a mental patient. The man walked back into the bar and pocketed the cash.
Before he had a chance to leave the bartender stopped him, "I gotta ask how did you make him cry, and laugh?"
The man smiled, "Well, first I told him my dick was larger than his, this time I showed it to him."

I have to say that that one is one of my top 3.

[Gunter VanCrimson]

weee... this totally makes my day! I needed a bit of laughter! got any more?

[Shadowknight]

A rabbi and a priest met at the town's annual picnic. Old friends, the began their usual banter. "This ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but you just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, when are you going to break down and have some?"
The rabbi looked at his friend with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

Okay unless I wanna move to G rated stuff I'm gonna have to find my copy of, "1001 Totally Tasteless Jokes."

[Seit The Reaper]

how many Dragon Ball Z people does it take to screw in a lightbulb.
.....
...
...
...
1 but it takes 10 episodes

........heh?

[Gunter VanCrimson]

lol-