02-16-2006, 06:18 PM
UnknownH Wrote:I think he was joking.
Yeah, joking.
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
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Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)
Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)
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Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)
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02-17-2006, 07:44 AM
:shock: :shock:
Um... thank you for clarifying that up for us.... ~~ lonelygabu~~ ~~ 
02-22-2006, 10:14 PM
hehe- nice.
Discrimination nowadays tend to get out of hand- like these blonde-jokes I've heard: In africa, there is a tour bus carrying thirty or more people. a ventriloquist with a dummy on his lap was telling blonde jokes the whole trip, everyone was laughing happily- when a blonde girl stood up up front. "That's it! I am sick of you people thinking blondes are dumb! why- I just so happen to have a degree in physics- and I'm a college proffesor! Stunned, the ventriloquist apologized- but the lady snapped at him: "You stay out of this! This is between me and the little bastard on your lap! **************** six blondes walk into a bar and order beers. they all looked excited- and were chanting "fifty one days, fifty one days..." over and over again. a dozen more blondes walk in joining thhe first six, chanting "51 days, 51 days..." 24 more blondes walk in, and they all startgetting wild squealing "51 days, 51 days" finally, one blonde enters with a picture frame. the blondes all cheer. curious, the bartender takes a look at what they're so happy about: in the frame, was a complete childs puzzle of cookie monster. "why are you all happy?" asked the bartender. a blonde answered. "for years, people have been saying blondes were stupid!!" a second one answered. "-but now we have proof that we're smart! we finished this in only fifty one days- but the box said it would take five years and over! **************** and there were animal jokes... a farmer was thinking of killing his old rooster and getting a new one. "this one's getting old. I'd better get a new one for the hens" he said. the old rooster overheard the farmer. "I'm not ready for the choping block just yet!" it thought. the next day, the new cock arrived. "face it old bird, your time has come." the young rooster said they decided to have a race around the farm, on the condition that the old rooster would be given two laps headstart. after the second lap- the young cock was right behind the old one already. hearing the comotion outside- the farmer went out, only to see the the young rooster chasing the old one. he got his shotgun- and blasted the young one away. "Damn it! that's the 3rd gay rooster I bought!" he said. ******************************** a man walks into the bar with a dog. they both take a seat, the man says to the bartender: man: I bet you $200 that this dog can answer any question you give it. bartender: deal (I've gotta see this) what is the square route of 18? Dog: two bartender: wow! (hands man $200) the man put it in the dog's collar, and went to the toilet. bartender: what else can you do? Dog: Try me. Bartender: can you buy something with the $200? Dog: sure. (goes out) a few minutes later, the owner got back. man: what did you do to my dog!?" "he went out to buy something." said the bartender. the man ran out to find his dog- he found him in the back alley screwing a girl. man: what's the matter with you!? you've never done this before!! Dog: Ive never had five dollars before.
02-23-2006, 03:03 PM
heres an interesting equation of some sort...
1)Women=time*money 2)time=money 3)Women=money*money 4)women =money^2 5)women =( ^2root of evil)^2 6)women=evil heres the explanation: 1)so we all know that (women=time times money) 2)so we all know that (time = money) 3)restate the problem (women = money times money) 4)and us math buffs know that money*money is also equal to money^2(squared) 5)so as we all know that money is the ^2root of evil 6)so the problem simplified simplified would read (women = evil) hoepfully you find it as enjoyable as I did when I first heard it.... ~~ lonelygabu~~ ~~
02-23-2006, 09:54 PM
i kinda cut them up- they were way too long, and I couldnt remember them completely.
02-24-2006, 03:43 AM
I love farm jokes.
A man decides that city life is too much for him and decides to move to the country and start a farm. He goes to a poultry ranch to get started, "Hello I'd like to buy a rooster." The man behind the counter shook his head, "'round here we call 'em a cock." The man bought the animal and headed to his next destination to buy another animal, "Hello I'd like to buy a donkey." Again a man behind the counter shook his head, "Listen 'ere city slicker, 'round 'ere we call 'em an ass." the man behind the counter rang up the purchase and was giving the man his change, "Now if your ass starts acting up just give 'im a scratch behind the ears n' he'll be fine." The city man thanked him and headed out the store. A short way from his new house the donkey started getting figeddy. The man found a young woman and stopped her, "Excuse me, would you mind holding my cock while I scratch my ass." And one of my favorite animal jokes. A womans washing machine broke so she called up a plumber to fix it. She told him that she had to work and that the key would be under the mat and to leave the bill on the counter. Before she hung up she said, "I have a large dog but he won't bother you, but whatever you do do not talk to the bird. No matter what DON'T TALK TO THE BIRD." The man came over the next day and found the key under the mat. He entered the building and sitting on a large bed was the biggest, meanest, ugliest, dog the man had ever seen, but like the woman had said the dog simply watched him as he went about his work. The bird on the other hand was slowly driving the man insane, it was constantly swearing at him, insulting him, and just plain annoying him. After a short while the man lost his temper and shouted at the bird, "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU STUPID BIRD." The bird stared at him for a second and then said, "Sic him spike." And, A man and woman were going out for their anniversary. As they were heading out the door to a waiting taxi the cat that they had put out earlier saw it's opening and ran back into the house. The man went back in after the cat as the woman went to wait in the taxi. The woman didn't want the driver to know the house would be empty so she told him that her husband was saying goodnight to her mother. The man came out shortly later and got into the taxi, "Sorry I took so long. The stupid bitch ran under a bed, so I had to poke at her with a coat hanger till she came out, then I had to throw a towel over her so she wouldn't bit me, then I dragged her ass downstairs and tossed her ass into the backyard." I'll post more later.
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
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