Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a rock?...

There's only one you can F&$%.....

[Seit The Reaper]

I lol'd....

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=...f+Warcraft

i love giving you the funny Videos....

[Gunter VanCrimson]

Lol- I'll look for some too-

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

Funny videos......I'll also search for a bit....I have a whole bunch......

[Seit The Reaper]

....*sigh*....i love this shit...


This AMV is Crazy....

BTW that is Mindless Self Indulgence.....

[UnknownH]

I said I'd find some jokes. Now, for some smurf related jokes.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/show...p?t=321539
How to get rid of smurfs.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6676189&postcount=18
Putting smurf in various movie quotes.
I remembered these thanks to a discussion of smurfs and how they're made from another board.

[Shadowknight]

Long time since any postings but I got this E-Mail and these are just too funny:

New rules of the world:

New Rules:

1. Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com. There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years, because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

2. New Rule:
Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a
seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in
a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you
expect it to contain? Trout?

3. New Rule:
Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde
teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these
kids: lucky bastards.

4. New Rule:
If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay.
If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown
man, they're pictures of men.

5. New Rule:
Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

6. New Rule:
There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this
crap at the supermarket - water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but
flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour
some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

7. New Rule:
Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill
bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the
morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

8. New Rule:
The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If
you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande, half-soy, half-low
fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread, cappuccino, extra dry, light
ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooooohhhhhh, you're a huge asshole!

9. New Rule:
I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card,
entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

10. New Rule:
Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you
spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to
"beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you
were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You were just high.

11. New Rule:
Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins.
ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting.
What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

12. New Rule:
I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go
nuts and eat two.

13. New Rule:
If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old
television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

14. New Rule:
No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now
it's for babies and new homes and graduations. Picking out the stuff you
want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white
people version of looting.

15. New Rule:
This one is long overdue - No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up,
some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. Don't want to be on your webcam dude. I just want to wash my hands!

16. New Rule:
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27
Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't
really care in the first place.

And since it's me we have to have the blonde joke no matter what:

Top Ten Blonde Inventions:

Waterproof towel

Solar-powered flashlight

Submarine screen door

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart board

A dictionary index

Ejector seat in a helicopter

Powdered water

Pedal-powered wheel chair

[DrunkenMunkee]

2. New Rule:
Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a
seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in
a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you
expect it to contain? Trout?

O.O Thats the reason I dont eat at Wendy's.

[UnknownH]

Ok now who did that joke. I know someone might have. And a lot of them are true.

[Gunter VanCrimson]

This is lolful- I can't stop laughing-