The Shadow of a Love (my first lemon, be nice guys ^_^)

[Wisemon]

Hold on, is Yamato gay in your story, or was that just a joke? Personally, I've always felt that he was the most likely to be gay among both the first and second season roster (unless you count Michael). So if that's the case, that's fine by me.

You definitely have a knack for humor and this kind of writing in general. It's too bad that you're new to the English language, because otherwise, what you have could look like a true contender (whatever that means). Fortunately, you could probably get someone to proofread it for you when you're done. Of course, I don't know how up to date that lemonaid section is.

[AnironUndomiel]

It is now 11 on a Friday night, and I have nothing better to do than to write an erotic fanfic about a show supposedly meant for kids who shouldn

[Hikari Yagami Kamiya]

Hmmm*glares* this fic is crap, TK and Patamon are so OoC since they are the mature ones of the team, Davis and Veemon are the immature ones, I say this fic should burn!

[urban dream]

Hikari? SHUT THE FUCK UP! This fic is a lot better than your stuff can even hope ever to get. I don't mind your senseless bashing of characters, and I don't mind giving you tips to improve your writing, but this is too motherfucking much. HOW DARE YOU FUCKING COMPLAIN ABOUT THE CHARACTERS BEING OOC? FIRST, THEY ARE NOT OOC, AND SECONDLY, THEY'RE OOC A LOT WORSE IN YOUR STUFF! And you don't even have the decency to credit somebody else for their hard work and talent, just because it doesn't suit your fucked-up tastes! That's it, you silly bitch. You've lost all sympathy you ever had from me, and hopefully all sympathy you ever had from anybody else on this goddamn board. Jesus Christ, this makes me mad.

[AnironUndomiel]

wow, that was unexpected, thanks for the support urban :). anyway, i dont really mind hikari's bashing, its just that i think daisuke should be more than is depicted in the show. I already explained how he ACTS silly to gain popularity, but deep down hes really a sensitive guy (i wrote his past with mine, a little something i learned from wisemon). I always identified with daisuke while i was watching the show, and i guess i just wanted to impose my own personality onto such a simialr character. Just stay tuned in Hikari, you might be pleasantly surprised at the ending. This lemon is only 1/3 done, or so i plan

[mowgly]

that

[AnironUndomiel]

I appreciate constructive criticism, such as grammar mistakes, spelling errors, tips on character development and such. However, blatant flames will end with my making fun of you. Hikari suggested that i have put the character too far out. But in fact i only offered a more detailed version of the characters. The daisuke in the show and the daisuke in my story are not far apart, and could coexist if allowed. The fact that you obviously do not understand the concept of fanfics amazes me Hikari. In such fictional erotic works we authors are encouraged to add spices to the original series. Or else what would be the point of it all? if we stick strictly to the implied peronalities of the show, what would be the joy in reading these fanfics? they would just be little kids screwing the crap outa each other. and frankly, i for one am tired of those bad lemons. I try in this lemon to explain a very complicated person, his way of thinking, and the reasons WHY they are screwing the crap outa each other. If you do not have the intelligence or patience to enjoy such substantial works, and only like the ones where only a sex scene (however bizarre or descriptive) occurrs, then i suggest that you stop reading my lemon any further and refrain from coming into this thread again. for i can assure you that despite your efforts to try to change this lemon, you will not accomplish your goal. The stroy will continue as i see fit, and if you have a problem with that, then i suggest that you can do to yourself some of the lucrative things from the many artless lemons around.


P.S.

Incur not my wrath, for my retribution will be swift and terrible.

[Wisemon]

(i wrote his past with mine, a little something i learned from wisemon). I always identified with daisuke while i was watching the show, and i guess i just wanted to impose my own personality onto such a simialr character.

Wow, I just received the ultimate compliment. However, I think the part you're talking about was edited out of the current version of "Fat" (the lemon that partially influenced this one). When I corrected the first five, I took out most of the stuff I considered to be "corny crap" about myself. If you haven't read the first five since they were refined (December 2, 2003), please read them again, especially the first one. I wasn't too proud of what I had before. Except for the first one, the changes aren't major, but they matter to me, and as someone who appreciates my work, I'd want you to see my best effort. If you really like my stuff, don't feel shy about leaving a comment for the bottom of my lemons page. In return, now that I know your email, I'll email you the 16th chapter sometime in the next few days.

Now, on to your story. Like I said, you just paid me the ultimate compliment. At first, the "I love you"'s seemed a little rushed, but on the second reading it looked believable, especially since Daisuke said it first (you see, Hikari, that's not out of character). I'm a big fan of Daisuke, but I'm not a fan of his coupling with Hikari (somehow, I don't think that's how this will end anyway), but if it happened, this is how I'd like to see it happen. It might've been more believable if Hikari didn't accept Daisuke at first, but then you'd be complimenting me a little too much. I also believe that there was always more to Daisuke. With the exception of Junpei, I relate to him better than any other character. He seems cool to make friends, but he really doesn't have any real friends. You're getting better and better. Keep up the outstanding work.

But in fact i only offered a more detailed version of the characters. The daisuke in the show and the daisuke in my story are not far apart, and could coexist if allowed.

You chose coexistence; I chose exaggeration. We both got criticized for being out of character.

If you do not have the intelligence or patience to enjoy such substantial works, and only like the ones where only a sex scene (however bizarre or descriptive) occurrs, then i suggest that you stop reading my lemon any further and refrain from coming into this thread again. for i can assure you that despite your efforts to try to change this lemon, you will not accomplish your goal. The stroy will continue as i see fit, and if you have a problem with that, then i suggest that you can do to yourself some of the lucrative things from the many artless lemons around.

Yeah, suck on that. Suck on it long, and suck on it hard.

[UnknownH]

yeah first hikari seems to be a rabid takari fan and 2 poor TK...keep going

[AnironUndomiel]

like i always say, if life gives you a lemon, you shut the fuck up and eat the damn lemon...