UPDATED!! Kharon's August Contest - WITH SCORES!

[Tazer]

That level of laziness sounds familliar... wait, that's me. -.-

[fatpat60]

WOOHOO!! I show promise!! Oh wait, everybody tells me that, so why am I happy? I just remembered a few minutes ago that I had entered this contest and so I came to check out how I did. I didn't expect to do good and despite the low score, I feel that the judges liked my story. I'm working on the sentence problems and excessive use of 'and' or other words. I think it's my biggest weakness. Generally with this story I don't think I did a great job, could've been better. Maybe it was cause I rushed my writing, something I tend to do generally, then I slow down in spots. The rushing part is what I hate the most, my slow down, excessive wordy technique generally works well with everything EXCEPT lemons, so I was trying to find something in between and I don't think it worked. Anyway, I'm still happy seeing as this helps my writing and I'd like to extend congrats to the winner and now I wanna read the stories that scored higher than me to find out what they did better. Thanks for running the contest Kharon and thanks to judges for...well, judging. :D