Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)

[Shadowknight]

Here's one (it's a long one):

A farmer bought a bucket and an anvil. Then he stopped at the poultry dealer and bought two chickens and a goose. In order to carry everything home, he put the anvil in the bucket and carried the bucket in one hand. He put one chicken under each arm and carried the goose in the other hand. While he was walking home, he encountered a beautiful lady. She said, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me how to get 25 Oak lane?"

The farmer said, "I'm going that way myself. Let's take a shortcut down this alley."

The woman said, "But how do I know that when we get into the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt and ravish me?"

The farmer said, "I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens and a goose. How could I possibly hold you against the wall and do that?"

The woman replied, "It's simple. Set the goose down, put the bucket over the goose, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."

I love that one. Here's another (it's shorter):


Two honeymooners asked the hotel clerk for a suite. "Would you like a bridal?" the clerk asked.

The new bride blushed and replied, "No thanks. I'll just hold on to his shoulders until I get the hang of it."

I love these jokes.