05-18-2006, 02:35 AM
Things to ponder,
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here,
and drink whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say,
"See that chicken there?
I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a song about him?
5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but they don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
12. If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?
13. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?
14. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on,
World's Easiest Quiz.
Passing requires only 1 correct answer.... a measly 10%.
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific is named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a Purple Finch?
9) Where are Chinese Gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Answers:
1) 116 years
2) Ecuador
3) Sheep and Horses
4) November
5) Squirrel fur
6) Dogs
7) Albert
8) Crimson
9)New Zealand
10) Orange, of course.
So did everyone pass? No? Well don't feel too bad, neither did she:
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor."You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said."First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $16,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise.
So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
If you don't get that joke, you may be blonde.
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here,
and drink whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say,
"See that chicken there?
I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a song about him?
5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but they don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
12. If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?
13. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?
14. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on,
World's Easiest Quiz.
Passing requires only 1 correct answer.... a measly 10%.
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific is named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a Purple Finch?
9) Where are Chinese Gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Answers:
1) 116 years
2) Ecuador
3) Sheep and Horses
4) November
5) Squirrel fur
6) Dogs
7) Albert
8) Crimson
9)New Zealand
10) Orange, of course.
So did everyone pass? No? Well don't feel too bad, neither did she:
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor."You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said."First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $16,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise.
So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
If you don't get that joke, you may be blonde.
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
