05-10-2006, 04:42 PM
Lol, all I can say,
Bubba died in a fire and was burned pretty bad.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were called for.
Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
Daryl looked and said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over."
So the mortician rolled him over and Daryl looked and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thought that was rather strange and he was pretty sure of the body's identity.
Gomer was then brought in to identify the body.
Gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
"What? He had two assholes?" asked the mortician.
"Yup, everyone knew about it, too. Every time we went to town, folks would say, "Here comes Bubba with them two assholes."
Blondes, a year in review.
January
Took new scarf back to store;
it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
Bottles wouldn't fit in typewriter!
March
Got excited; finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.
Box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours;
power went out!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid;
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
Tried to find another brand.
June
Tried to go water skiing;
couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition;
learned later, other swimmers cheated.
They used their arms!
August
Got locked out of car in rain storm.
Car got swamped because top was down.
September
Lost Geography Competition.
(The capital in California is "C"....isn't it?)
October
Hate M&M's;
they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.
Instructions said 1 hour per pound
and I weigh 108!
December
Tree caught fire; couldn't call 911.
there's no eleven button on my phone!
Bubba died in a fire and was burned pretty bad.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were called for.
Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
Daryl looked and said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over."
So the mortician rolled him over and Daryl looked and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thought that was rather strange and he was pretty sure of the body's identity.
Gomer was then brought in to identify the body.
Gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
"What? He had two assholes?" asked the mortician.
"Yup, everyone knew about it, too. Every time we went to town, folks would say, "Here comes Bubba with them two assholes."
Blondes, a year in review.
January
Took new scarf back to store;
it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
Bottles wouldn't fit in typewriter!
March
Got excited; finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.
Box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours;
power went out!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid;
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
Tried to find another brand.
June
Tried to go water skiing;
couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition;
learned later, other swimmers cheated.
They used their arms!
August
Got locked out of car in rain storm.
Car got swamped because top was down.
September
Lost Geography Competition.
(The capital in California is "C"....isn't it?)
October
Hate M&M's;
they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.
Instructions said 1 hour per pound
and I weigh 108!
December
Tree caught fire; couldn't call 911.
there's no eleven button on my phone!
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
