04-25-2006, 04:26 AM
(This post was last modified: 04-26-2006, 05:14 AM by blueeyedgabulvo0o.)
Now you want me to critique your work, DMX....
You want to understand, that I enjoyed the inital set-up of the scene's beginning is interesting and it captires the characters well. I have a couple of problems you talk about a digi devise able to locate other digimon or the other digidestined. They were given a mode to help out and yet they seemed to forgot that like it never existed. and Yet Veemon, at the beginning talks to Davis about the fact that they are late and tells him to use the another devise to open up the portal to the digital world. I don't know but I lost my train of thought a bit to think about the characters in decision to use those devises.... It would be fun like if you said during the fight both broke or began to malfunction, and I would have believed that was a true eituation. The only other problem is the punctuation.....
More good things, I like the characters human like qualities, the innocense and the knight in armor cliche works in this lemon. Also I enjoy to watch to watch these two digimon get their freak on! ;)
All in all this could have been better and I am learning as well so this gets a 7 out of 10.....Revise it and no one will dwell on the mistakes but rather on the content.
DMX, good luck with this and good luck in future lemons :D
