Funny Joke(18+ or anyone who doesn't care) (non-digi)

[Shadowknight]

I don't get the polish joke but I get all the others. I like the joke with the WHO in it. I saw it on a cartoon years ago.

I think it was animaniacs. the old angry squirrel.

Old squirrel: You see the band on stage?
Young squirrel: No.
Old squirrel: TAKE OFF THOSE HIPPIE GLASSES! Now what's the name of the band on stage?
Young squirrel: The Who.
Old squirrel: DO YOU SEE THE BAND ON STAGE?
Young squirrel: No. That's the Who. The Band doesn't play till later.

Why did they come up with such dumb names? Oh well, on to the jokes:

Since he was aTexan being tried in New York, the young man felt he didn't have a prayer of beating the murder rap. Thus, shortly before the jury was to retire he bribed one of the jurors to find him quilty of manslaughter.
The jury was out for days, after which they returned a verdict of manslaughter. Cornering the juror, the Texan said, "Thanks a million. How ever did you manage it?"
"It wasn't easy," admitted the juror. "The others wanted to acquit you."
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Q: What's the square root of sixty-nine?
A: Ate something.
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The boy's impatient math teacher snarled, "And just how far are you from the correct answer?"
To which the boy replied, "Three seats, sir."
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"Dad," said Tyrone, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"
The teen's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."
"That's okay," replied the boy. "At least you could try."
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Then there was the sleek new cruiser that the navy nicknamed "Nympho" because there was no problem getting her out of her slip or filling her with seamen.
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"I suppose," said the heartless drill instructor to the new recruit, "that when I die, you'll make a special trip to my grave just to spit on it."
"Not me, sir," said the young man. "When I get out of here I'm never standing in line again."
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After spending a day entertaing the troops, the all-girl singing group was approached by the base commander.
"Would you girls like to mess with the enlisted men or the officers this evening?"
"It doesn't matter to us," one of the girls replied, "but first we'd like something to eat."
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Hillbilly Herman was drafted, and on his first day as an enlisted man he was given a comb; the next day the army barber sheared off his hair. On the third day he was given a toothbrush; the next day the army dentist yanked several of his teeth. On the fifth day he was given a jockstrap; that afternoon Herman went AWOL.

I'd run too.