02-22-2006, 10:14 PM
hehe- nice.
Discrimination nowadays tend to get out of hand- like these blonde-jokes I've heard:
In africa, there is a tour bus carrying thirty or more people. a ventriloquist with a dummy on his lap was telling blonde jokes the whole trip, everyone was laughing happily- when a blonde girl stood up up front.
"That's it! I am sick of you people thinking blondes are dumb! why- I just so happen to have a degree in physics- and I'm a college proffesor!
Stunned, the ventriloquist apologized- but the lady snapped at him:
"You stay out of this! This is between me and the little bastard on your lap!
****************
six blondes walk into a bar and order beers. they all looked excited- and were chanting "fifty one days, fifty one days..." over and over again.
a dozen more blondes walk in joining thhe first six, chanting "51 days, 51 days..."
24 more blondes walk in, and they all startgetting wild squealing "51 days, 51 days"
finally, one blonde enters with a picture frame. the blondes all cheer.
curious, the bartender takes a look at what they're so happy about: in the frame, was a complete childs puzzle of cookie monster.
"why are you all happy?" asked the bartender.
a blonde answered. "for years, people have been saying blondes were stupid!!"
a second one answered. "-but now we have proof that we're smart! we finished this in only fifty one days- but the box said it would take five years and over!
****************
and there were animal jokes...
a farmer was thinking of killing his old rooster and getting a new one. "this one's getting old. I'd better get a new one for the hens" he said.
the old rooster overheard the farmer. "I'm not ready for the choping block just yet!" it thought.
the next day, the new cock arrived.
"face it old bird, your time has come." the young rooster said
they decided to have a race around the farm, on the condition that the old rooster would be given two laps headstart.
after the second lap- the young cock was right behind the old one already.
hearing the comotion outside- the farmer went out, only to see the the young rooster chasing the old one. he got his shotgun- and blasted the young one away.
"Damn it! that's the 3rd gay rooster I bought!" he said.
********************************
a man walks into the bar with a dog. they both take a seat, the man says to the bartender:
man: I bet you $200 that this dog can answer any question you give it.
bartender: deal (I've gotta see this) what is the square route of 18?
Dog: two
bartender: wow! (hands man $200)
the man put it in the dog's collar, and went to the toilet.
bartender: what else can you do?
Dog: Try me.
Bartender: can you buy something with the $200?
Dog: sure. (goes out)
a few minutes later, the owner got back.
man: what did you do to my dog!?"
"he went out to buy something." said the bartender.
the man ran out to find his dog- he found him in the back alley screwing a girl.
man: what's the matter with you!? you've never done this before!!
Dog: Ive never had five dollars before.
Discrimination nowadays tend to get out of hand- like these blonde-jokes I've heard:
In africa, there is a tour bus carrying thirty or more people. a ventriloquist with a dummy on his lap was telling blonde jokes the whole trip, everyone was laughing happily- when a blonde girl stood up up front.
"That's it! I am sick of you people thinking blondes are dumb! why- I just so happen to have a degree in physics- and I'm a college proffesor!
Stunned, the ventriloquist apologized- but the lady snapped at him:
"You stay out of this! This is between me and the little bastard on your lap!
****************
six blondes walk into a bar and order beers. they all looked excited- and were chanting "fifty one days, fifty one days..." over and over again.
a dozen more blondes walk in joining thhe first six, chanting "51 days, 51 days..."
24 more blondes walk in, and they all startgetting wild squealing "51 days, 51 days"
finally, one blonde enters with a picture frame. the blondes all cheer.
curious, the bartender takes a look at what they're so happy about: in the frame, was a complete childs puzzle of cookie monster.
"why are you all happy?" asked the bartender.
a blonde answered. "for years, people have been saying blondes were stupid!!"
a second one answered. "-but now we have proof that we're smart! we finished this in only fifty one days- but the box said it would take five years and over!
****************
and there were animal jokes...
a farmer was thinking of killing his old rooster and getting a new one. "this one's getting old. I'd better get a new one for the hens" he said.
the old rooster overheard the farmer. "I'm not ready for the choping block just yet!" it thought.
the next day, the new cock arrived.
"face it old bird, your time has come." the young rooster said
they decided to have a race around the farm, on the condition that the old rooster would be given two laps headstart.
after the second lap- the young cock was right behind the old one already.
hearing the comotion outside- the farmer went out, only to see the the young rooster chasing the old one. he got his shotgun- and blasted the young one away.
"Damn it! that's the 3rd gay rooster I bought!" he said.
********************************
a man walks into the bar with a dog. they both take a seat, the man says to the bartender:
man: I bet you $200 that this dog can answer any question you give it.
bartender: deal (I've gotta see this) what is the square route of 18?
Dog: two
bartender: wow! (hands man $200)
the man put it in the dog's collar, and went to the toilet.
bartender: what else can you do?
Dog: Try me.
Bartender: can you buy something with the $200?
Dog: sure. (goes out)
a few minutes later, the owner got back.
man: what did you do to my dog!?"
"he went out to buy something." said the bartender.
the man ran out to find his dog- he found him in the back alley screwing a girl.
man: what's the matter with you!? you've never done this before!!
Dog: Ive never had five dollars before.