02-14-2006, 06:17 PM
yet another,
HOW TO TAKE A SHOWER
How to Shower Like a Woman:
* Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper
according to lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
* If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror * make mental
note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
* Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with
43
added vitamins.
* Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
* Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced with real passion fruit.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.
* Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake
body wash.
* Rinse conditioner off hair.
* Shave armpits and legs.
* Turn off shower.
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
* Spray mold spots with Tilex.
* Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
* Dry with towel the size of a small country.
* Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
* Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
head.
* If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.
How to Shower Like a Man:
* Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom.
* If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making
the "woo-woo" sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
* Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
* Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding
area.
* Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on
the soap.
* Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
* Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
* Dry off forearms and butt only.
* Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging
out of tub the whole time.
* Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch
water
fly off.
* Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
fan
on.
* Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
* If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and
make the "woo-woo" sound again.
* Throw wet towel on bed.
* Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!
Who agrees?
HOW TO TAKE A SHOWER
How to Shower Like a Woman:
* Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper
according to lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
* If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror * make mental
note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
* Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with
43
added vitamins.
* Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
* Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced with real passion fruit.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.
* Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake
body wash.
* Rinse conditioner off hair.
* Shave armpits and legs.
* Turn off shower.
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
* Spray mold spots with Tilex.
* Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
* Dry with towel the size of a small country.
* Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
* Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
head.
* If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.
How to Shower Like a Man:
* Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom.
* If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making
the "woo-woo" sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
* Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
* Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding
area.
* Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on
the soap.
* Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
* Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
* Dry off forearms and butt only.
* Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging
out of tub the whole time.
* Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch
water
fly off.
* Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
fan
on.
* Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
* If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and
make the "woo-woo" sound again.
* Throw wet towel on bed.
* Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!
Who agrees?
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.