12-31-2006, 03:42 AM
Fucked again by the thing called nature!
Well, today I just got news that my grandfather had died in hospital. Now, I knew that he would have died from the septocemia and heavy breathing. But it happened JUST before the new year. That seriously is making me tear at the moment. That's why I can't bear to see him until the time I come to see him in the coffin before the funeral. He meant that much to me, and I just can't bear to see him. Not today. And you know what fucking else? It's happened before, and BEFORE, AND BEFORE! DROPPING LIKE DAMN FLIES!
And last year. In October, my uncle died because his liver and lungs failed on him. Okay, that was the fault that he was addicted to alcohol, but still, I didn't expect it to happen that fast. I was almost choking in my own tears when seeing him in the coffin, so much that no-one dared to take me to the funeral. You know why? Because he idolized me. He had a previous failure, but he recovered. He spent his OWN time in MY room, and I was always the one getting him drinks and all. He was thanking ME because I was the only person who would help him. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
My cousin! This was two years ago in November! She was only twelve, and she had contracted god knows what that I just simply can't remember. She was cheerful, and always happy, was always the one who talked to me and all, not like any of the girls outside of her age at all! Before she became ill and died because of it! What the fucking hell, is this a damn omen that someone ELSE IN MY DAMN FAMILY is going to drop NEXT YEAR?!
All three of them died, before a New Year could start. And it's fucking odd without them, it's just making me at this time empty and lonely even more then before. And to know I have to try and start a new year without all three, it's bloody hard. I mean, me and my grandfather were close. I really cared for him, more then anyone else in my family.
And today, about one or two days away from 2007, I get THIS. I can't really talk at the moment. It hurts to even type up a letter on this blasted keyboard without tearing....
New year supposed to be jolly and happy? BAH! Whoever made that up really must have a big ego!
Sorry, I just feel so fucking down because of this. I really do, and it's starting to make me feel bloody annoyed and upset as well!
Well, today I just got news that my grandfather had died in hospital. Now, I knew that he would have died from the septocemia and heavy breathing. But it happened JUST before the new year. That seriously is making me tear at the moment. That's why I can't bear to see him until the time I come to see him in the coffin before the funeral. He meant that much to me, and I just can't bear to see him. Not today. And you know what fucking else? It's happened before, and BEFORE, AND BEFORE! DROPPING LIKE DAMN FLIES!
And last year. In October, my uncle died because his liver and lungs failed on him. Okay, that was the fault that he was addicted to alcohol, but still, I didn't expect it to happen that fast. I was almost choking in my own tears when seeing him in the coffin, so much that no-one dared to take me to the funeral. You know why? Because he idolized me. He had a previous failure, but he recovered. He spent his OWN time in MY room, and I was always the one getting him drinks and all. He was thanking ME because I was the only person who would help him. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
My cousin! This was two years ago in November! She was only twelve, and she had contracted god knows what that I just simply can't remember. She was cheerful, and always happy, was always the one who talked to me and all, not like any of the girls outside of her age at all! Before she became ill and died because of it! What the fucking hell, is this a damn omen that someone ELSE IN MY DAMN FAMILY is going to drop NEXT YEAR?!
All three of them died, before a New Year could start. And it's fucking odd without them, it's just making me at this time empty and lonely even more then before. And to know I have to try and start a new year without all three, it's bloody hard. I mean, me and my grandfather were close. I really cared for him, more then anyone else in my family.
And today, about one or two days away from 2007, I get THIS. I can't really talk at the moment. It hurts to even type up a letter on this blasted keyboard without tearing....
New year supposed to be jolly and happy? BAH! Whoever made that up really must have a big ego!
Sorry, I just feel so fucking down because of this. I really do, and it's starting to make me feel bloody annoyed and upset as well!
