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Fucked again by the thing called nature!

Well, today I just got news that my grandfather had died in hospital. Now, I knew that he would have died from the septocemia and heavy breathing. But it happened JUST before the new year. That seriously is making me tear at the moment. That's why I can't bear to see him until the time I come to see him in the coffin before the funeral. He meant that much to me, and I just can't bear to see him. Not today. And you know what fucking else? It's happened before, and BEFORE, AND BEFORE! DROPPING LIKE DAMN FLIES!

And last year. In October, my uncle died because his liver and lungs failed on him. Okay, that was the fault that he was addicted to alcohol, but still, I didn't expect it to happen that fast. I was almost choking in my own tears when seeing him in the coffin, so much that no-one dared to take me to the funeral. You know why? Because he idolized me. He had a previous failure, but he recovered. He spent his OWN time in MY room, and I was always the one getting him drinks and all. He was thanking ME because I was the only person who would help him. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

My cousin! This was two years ago in November! She was only twelve, and she had contracted god knows what that I just simply can't remember. She was cheerful, and always happy, was always the one who talked to me and all, not like any of the girls outside of her age at all! Before she became ill and died because of it! What the fucking hell, is this a damn omen that someone ELSE IN MY DAMN FAMILY is going to drop NEXT YEAR?!

All three of them died, before a New Year could start. And it's fucking odd without them, it's just making me at this time empty and lonely even more then before. And to know I have to try and start a new year without all three, it's bloody hard. I mean, me and my grandfather were close. I really cared for him, more then anyone else in my family.

And today, about one or two days away from 2007, I get THIS. I can't really talk at the moment. It hurts to even type up a letter on this blasted keyboard without tearing....



New year supposed to be jolly and happy? BAH! Whoever made that up really must have a big ego!

Sorry, I just feel so fucking down because of this. I really do, and it's starting to make me feel bloody annoyed and upset as well!

... Holy shit... I really feel for you... I know what that's like. 23 (yes 23) in my family died in the last 6 months. (WTF!?) I wasn't close to any of them but it sure as hell dampens my mood...

Still... as for the 'death per year' thing, you don't know that. There's a good chance no one will.

And... meh... I agree... new years is nothing but work for me.

Thats a terrible turn of events. I dont really know what to say to it but...we're here for ya Kyo.

Having my grandmother dieing on my 11th Birthday was certainly no picnic, having her funeral the week after my birthday.

Sorry to hear this Kyo, our hearts go out to ya man.

Sorry about that. There's nothing I can say that can make you feel better. I lost three loved ones, and my granfather died of renal insufficiency because of septicemia too, and I know nothing can take away the pain. I just can say I understand how you feel. All I can do for you is offer my shoulder for you to cry on. If you want to vent your pain out, PM me. I'll be there for you.

*blinks and walks over to Kyo*
.....I am so sorry *wraps my arms around you give you a big, comforting hug*

I had a close relative die this year too...my family is still crushed because she was the sweetest lady ever...I know how you feel.

I just hope for the best in years to come. v_v

oh damn....man thats harsh...and I know how that feels. This year we too had lost so many people of our family. two years ago we lost three teachers to cancer. there is just too much death going on nowadays...well theres not much I can say to help out, just that I'm sorry...

That's really really bad. At least you know you care a lot about him. When he died, he surely knew that all of his family cared about him, so that must be making him feel happy wherever he is now, and you can feel happy for him instead of sob, you are one of them, who is making him happy, there.

New year is just a festivity for me, I say my wishes, eat till I can't move, help my childy cousin with his fireworks, then drink till I can't move, again.

I'm sorry, buddy, I feel for your loss, I lost my grandmother last year around the holidays. I know there's not much I can say to make you feel better...I know it hurts, but just know that we're all here for you. If you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on, just PM me or something.

My God Kyo, I am sorry. I haven't had to deal with that kind of pain since I was 6. I will tell you something, that my parents told me when my grandmother died.

Think about your (grandpa)... Would he want you to feel sad or depressed? Of course not! He would want you to live your life happy!

It is appropriate to greave, but it is better to remember the good times you had, and to never forget them. I bet your grandpa would tell you to cheer up, even though it may be hard.