Grant a wish.

[Venin]

Granted, he loses his case and starts cussing like crazy at you, harming you EMOTIONALLY, OH!




I wish to be another person on this site.

[AetherRose]

Granted, you are now UnknownT
(by the way, since emotions are emitted from the mind; I tend to count emotions as part of "mental".)

I wish schools became less mediocre.

[Venin]

Granted, schools are now a huge pain in the ass to pass.

(Also, do you mean UnknownH? I don't know an UnknownT...)



I wish I had a two-handed broadsword.

[AetherRose]

Granted, but it's two handed for a 9001 foot giant... it's 100 tons.
(No, your sentence could be construed to mean "I wish I had another username" xD)

I wish every food didn't taste like chicken, besides chicken.

[Crimson Fox]

Granted, they all taste like sprouts. I hope you're happy. XP

I wish for a new, comfortable chair.

[Venin]

Granted, but you suffocate in it, cuz it's too comfortable.



I wish I could get laid at least once in my life and like it.

[Crimson Fox]

Granted!

Crimson: *carries you into your bed and and tucks you in comfortably* There you go, you've been "laid" to rest. Good night!

I wish my baseball team didn't suck. XP

[Venin]

Granted, they blow... ...have fun!


I wish for a fish.

[AetherRose]

Granted, look out, it's up your butt!

I wish for Puff, the magic dragon.

[Shadowknight]

Granted, but the cops bust you for drug paraphanalia and sent you to prison where you marry a big sweaty man named bubba.

I wish for people to stop slaughtering the english language at every store I go to.