Grant a wish.

[The Big Bad Rav]

granted, but we can't pee in our suits so we have to hold until we reach Earth

I wish I could hug Kristen Stewart...you know the girl who's on my sig.

[Masquerade]

Granted, but she has been hired to kill you and while you're hugging her, she stabs you in the back.

I wish nothing could be destroyed by tornadoes.

[DragonMasterX]

Granted, pouring destroys everything.

I wish to have a cute orca girl at home.

[The Big Bad Rav]

granted, but she destroys your home.

I wish for a PRS guitar.

[Masquerade]

Granted, but no matter how you play it, the only song it can play is "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star".

I wish mankind didn't have to rely on oil and gasoline and would instead use alternative energy to help the environment.

[The Big Bad Rav]

granted, now we use the power of our farts and the number 10.

I wish clothes never existed.

[DragonMasterX]

Granted, now everybody, except the cool scalies like me, overgrow hair and become large fuzzy balls that can't even move.

I wish to have a pony.

[Masquerade]

Granted, but it's missing two of its legs and all it can do is throw up all over the place. Good luck with the cleaning...

I wish fish could talk.

[The Big Bad Rav]

granted, but now they wanna take over the world!!

I wish I was having sex right now.

[Masquerade]

Granted, but it's with a stuffed animal...an ugly one, too.

I wish all the mosquitoes in the world would die.