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**Wisemon** · 09-29-2005, 03:31 PM

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

"A crowded van of community outreach volunteers, and the girl sitting next to me scoots her ass next to mine, and puts her shoulder against mine. We both know she has a boyfriend, but that won't matter; this is already my version of 'getting some.'"

**Wisemon** · 10-02-2005, 08:57 AM

"Damn, you're out of Total. That's alright; I'll just have to eat more of some other cereal."

**Wisemon** · 10-06-2005, 01:57 PM

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

Kid who's unsure about his girlfriend: So she told me that I was good at going down, but I told her that her head could use some work. Then she had about ten guys send me instant messages disputing that, saying, in fact, that she gave great head.
Me: This will be a great story to tell your grandkids.

**Wisemon** · 10-14-2005, 02:35 PM

Dinner table conversation (say it out loud):

"My dad became an MD, but I don't think he would've had what it takes to become a PHD. He's not a man of theses. Me, I can shoot out hundreds of theses."

**Wisemon** · 10-19-2005, 02:27 PM

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

"Man, that was close. If I had gone through that crosswalk three steps slower, that speeding ambulance would've killed me! But hey, that would've been ironic."

**Wisemon** · 10-25-2005, 12:22 AM

Mom: You're starting to look older. Well, not so much older, but you're finally starting to look your age.
Me: No! I haven't done enough to look my age!

**Wisemon** · 10-30-2005, 12:55 AM

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

"I just insulated my window with an old pair of underwear. Now that's what I call engineering."

**Wisemon** · 11-01-2005, 05:53 AM

A special one for Halloween:

"The most rational fear is the fear of the unknown."

**Wisemon** · 11-09-2005, 03:14 PM

I'm going to say this every other post, just so you don't miss it.
PLEASE DON'T REPLY!
If you want to reply, use a private message. I want to keep this thread continuous with my own quotes.

"So, I'll make more money with a Master's degree, but I don't like the Master's program for Mechanical Engineering. If I get a B.S. in Mechanical Engineering and a Master's in English, will the employer check on that?"

**Wisemon** · 11-19-2005, 06:42 AM

"I'm fifteen pounds above my successful diet weight, and I'm going to have to lose it during Thanksgiving break. The war never ends."

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