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+----- Thread: CHUCK NORRIS!! (/showthread.php?tid=5345)
- Disturbed - 09-14-2006
Chuck Norris took a vacation to the Virgin Islands..now they just call it The Islands.
- Rukario - 09-24-2006
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
- silver_toa - 10-08-2006
Some people say it's lucky to kill two birds with one stone. Oh yeah? Well Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. There is no such thing as half a stone you say? Well four dead birds didn't think so either.
There is only one man who has ever beaten Chuck Norris. And that is Tom Cruise in a gayness contest.
- Dridien TerrorBlade - 11-29-2006
.............................._,,,,,,,,____,,,,,_
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- Guilmon and a shotgun - 12-02-2006
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- Calibremon - 01-09-2007
Chuck Norris makes boots by roundhouse-kicking two gators at such a speed as their skin dettaches and fuses to Chuck's feet.
If he so chose, Chuck Norris could transport himself through time and space by roundhouse-kicking the space/time continuum in the opposite direction.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He oozes excess roundhouse kicks.
(sorry. I couldn't leave this thread alone :P)
- Yoosei - 01-09-2007
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
- Calibremon - 01-11-2007
There are 5 major forces in the universe. They are, in order of strongest to weakest:
Chuck Norris
Inertia
Magnetism
Radiation
Gravity
The last four are by-products of the universe trying to stay the fuck away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once kicked a man so hard, he knocked the black out of him. The man? Michael Jackson.
What happened to the black? It coagulated for a few years and resurfaced with the name Sinbad.
RE: CHUCK NORRIS!! - acejt - 02-07-2012
some wizerds walk on water, chuck norris swims through land
chuck norris actully died 20 years ago, Death just hasent got the corage to tell him yet.
when death turns up at chuck norris's door he opens it and says fuck off.
everytime you feel the wind brush past your face its chuck norris practicing his roundhouse kicks in his front yard on the other side of the world.
the reason the earth orbits the sun is because chuck norris roundhouse kicks it once every 365 days.
chuck norris needs a gun license to put his hands in his pockets.
chuck norris sleeps with 2 eyes open and 1 eye shut.
chuck norris doesent go swiming water just wants to be around him.
when chuck norris first used stairs they tryed to get away from him and thus the escalator was born.
music started when chuck norris's heart started beating.
chuck norris was going to star in the expendibles but he changed his mind becuase it would of been only 2 seconds long if he did.
agenst populer belief chuck norris recently stared in final destination, he played the role of death.
chuck norris is the center of the universe.
chuck norris is the same in a parallel universe.
chuck norris's fist make the speed of life wish it was faster.
if chuck norris appered on youtube he would automaticly have 1m likes and counting.
chuck norris isnt imortal he just refuse's to die.
when chuck norris smells blood he hunts sharks.
there are 7billion people in the world becuase chuck norris allows them to live.
chuck norris, nuf said.
chuck norris eliminated this last joke.
RE: CHUCK NORRIS!! - FlaminAngel - 06-15-2012
HAHA!I love Chuck Norris jokes.Thanks for the posts! :D