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+--- Thread: What is your "fantasy life." (/showthread.php?tid=1863)
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- Ryokumon - 08-21-2003
I can say i have been a very shy kid up untill now. I mostly keep to myself, I like to stay hidden from people because of how i was treated when i was much younger. eventualy i became a pro at dodging people in plain site wich reflects most of my fanticy life.
I have a dark depressed personality, i havent the slightest will to die though. I alway want to fight for something better but i can never bring myself out of the dark and shadow. I'm some kind of hero but nothing truely memorable. I havent had much sucess but the people i save tend to be a little more afraid of me than they are thankful. a city, a world a life that no one needs to lead. but even in this fanticy i do what i can to better man and my self threw my deeds....
Ryoku
- elvarien - 08-22-2003
world domination .. yup purty much it heh
naw mine actualy consists of having some ofrm of power to hold controll over my life and the thigns around me as irl I lead a happy normal life yet have absolutely no controll over it -_- it ranges from a little change in the day I had before I went to bed to all total world domination when me day didn`t go like I wanted it to :P
- The One Caron - 08-29-2003
Habba doobi?
*didn't think he understood the topic but....*
When I was a little kid in kindergarten, and grades 1 and 2, everything was okay for me. It was when I moved to Quebec when I was in Grade 3 that I had trouble.
I was exceptionally smart as a young child. I had some sort of "Gifted" label on me. 'course, smart people are beacons for trouble. At the end of the 3rd grade I was skipped ahead to 5th grade, but my third and fourth grade tormentors were still around. So-ho I changed schools.
In this new school, the teacher and principal said I should be put back to fourth grade so I "could learn paragraphing skills". That wasn't exactly helping my confidence. On top of that, I showed big progress in my classwork, so new tormentors took the old ones' places. The assaults continued, and I continued to hide and run away from my problems (Literally)
In Grade 6, my old school and my school then fused into one school (Which was a wholly english school, rather and a split french and english one). This brought my past back in my face. No buenos.
That's when a change happened in me. Both physical and mentally. 2 years later by Secondary 2 I was no longer the quiet intellectual who drew pictures in a corner of the class - I was the loud obnoxious classclown asshole who enjoyed to piss the world off; interrupting teachers constantly and becoming a general nuisance to anyone who slighted me in the smallest way.
My pent up anger from my childhood was beginning to leak out as I began to fight and take gangbeatings. Hell, I even tried to hijack my schoolbus because of the blindness of the driver. The next two years of my life were crucial. Secondary 3 went out with explosive tempers, but Secondary 4 showed by true potential for rage and damage. I fought constantly, and I found I liked what was happening. People began to fear my presence. I was a jerk, but they feared to do anything about it because they didn't know if I'd go off. My fighting ways escalated one day to the point of little return.
Days before Christmas holidays, I got into a fight after a guy pushed me against my locker. I swung around and pulled him into a reverse chokehold. It took three people to pull him off me. I stormed out of the school and while walking back to my house some guys in the class higher than me gave me the international sign for "pussy" from their bus. I ran down their bus and challenged the two to fight me right there and then. They didn't want to go anywhere. They knew me. I wasn't some weak bookworm. I was beast with massive destructive potential who often got kicked out of gym for using excessive force in activities. Hell, they put one of their girlfriends between me and them. The girl was kicking me in the chest area as I was mounting into the bus, but, as you'll know if you're been pushed past the brink before, you'll feel little or no pain. On top of that, one of the guys was whacking me with a broomstick. I grabbed it from his hands and snapped it in two before tossing it away outside the bus. The bus then took off again which sort of forced me from it.
Needless to say I was expelled and entered into a juvenile hall. All of my drawings that I had made while brooding were examined and used against me in court. I never felt so much hate for my family before.
For 8 monthes I brooded in the facility, obeying every order the guardians had to give. I was the model in there. They thought me perfect. They didn't stop to think that I was hiding from them. I willingly stayed in my room whenever I had the chance. I didn't "reform" or "get better" or anything of the sort. I merely learned to wait and watch. I'm fairly good at manipulation, so I just had to change my habits slightly to get what I wanted. Soon, while I was still at the facility, I got to go back to my school full time and I got to spend any free time I had outside in town unsupervised.
When I had returned to school, things were different. There was a new found respect for me. I could almost call it a fear. The bad girls found me interesting in that "bad boy" sort of way.
It's been a year since I got out, and since then I've had little troubles of annoyances - no one wants to try anything with me
Good and bad things have come out of it though.
I mean, I lost a lot of my life to burning hatred and rage... and that includes my future which I sort of pissed away. With the things I've done, there's little chance I'll get into any college with prestige, and when I meet new people I'm ashamed to tell them my past, so it's a great burden on my heart.
On the plus side, I have greater self confidence, a greater wealth of knowledge and art skill (Remember how I said I spent my time in my room? I was either reading one of the 8 400 page books on politics I went through and borrowed from my history professor or drawing)
Of course, I can't say my life is total shit. I got a fairly large group of friends, and plenty of great pastimes (Though BMX isn't too good from the knees, I suppose)
- Frostbyte v3.0 - 08-29-2003
*this the voice of current experiences calling*
This is my current situation. I am a Senior 2 (Sophmore or Grade ten in most other cities of the world, 'cept mine) in high school. There is only one high school, so I can't transfer without moving to another city. People that go to the only high schoolin town either ignore me, shun my existence, or psychologically degrade me. They think I'm supposed to be really smart, and I am, it's just I am a victim of a mild mental disorder that has plagued me my entire life: Attention Deficit Disorder. They think that I must be retarded or something; with my lacking attention span and my severe forgetfulness, but I'd wish they'd just let it go, you know?
My sanity is preserved with A) my computer, which includes all of you (thanks for keeping me sane!) and B) the meagre handful of friends that I have. My life generally sucks, school is a daily torture session, and my 'fantasy life', as Angeteen put it so well, resides in my creating anime and video games. I suppose its because the problems that people have in anime/video games seem so much bigger than mine, and they're able to overcome them. (god, that sounds so stupid now). But, maybe this cruel turn of events for me may lead to something good. I may become a big-name video game producer, or write a really popular anime, or something!
Their may still be hope for me...