Dawn Over A New World (Opening)

[Marine]

Quote:
Seven feet tall, he stalked through the deep forest of Ashenvale. It had been a week since the battle of Mount Hyjal, and his body was still oozing [as it burned energy to regenerate the near fatal wounds he had suffered]. This was no time to rest, as Ashi hunted for sustenance, to keep his body functioning. Food had been scarce as he had come down the mountain, and that had slowed his ability to regenerate. But now food was plentiful, when he could catch it.

Pro's:
-You focus in on the main character.
-You establish a casual problem (casual as in the first obstacle the character faces).
-The ending sentence can transition into a second paragraph.

Con's:
1) The first thing I noticed was, after the opening sentence, the rest of the paragraph was passive. You're telling us instead of showing (a.k.a the Wisemon Syndrome), which dampers the urgency, emotion, or suspense your character (and the reader) feels. You'd hook more people if you show what the character had suffered and what 'food' is.

2) The bracketed section above feels a bit overloaded combined with the sentence. It just feels you're trying to push a information into one sentence.

That's all I got for now, hope it helps.