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+--- Thread: Damn my Dick!! (/showthread.php?tid=2121)
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Damn my Dick!! - Anus Individual 20 - 08-29-2003
I swear, I've had enough problems with my penis to lead me to beleive God is trying very hard to make sure I can't reproduce!
You'll recall, I've mentioned previously that:
A) It bends as it erects, so as to make sure it can't shoot straight, and
B) The whole "Testicular Tortion" thing where I almost lost my right nut. After he gets that one, I'm sure he'll go for the left one too!
C) Wanked so hard it scabbed. I've got poor material down there.
And now, for the past week, it seems to actually be shrinking! It's like it's in a constant state of shrivelness! What the fuck!! I even stopped abusing it and kept it warm and cozy! Mein gott, I've been circumsized, and it looks like I still have foreskin!
Well, I'm off to a medical website to go see if this is a medical condition, or if that indeed the Big Cheese trying to force me into celibacy.
- Giznads - 08-29-2003
Gah! You poor guy. Having penis problems can really be a downer. I've had a few.
Though the bending thing. I've seen that on few guys, I thought it wasn't all that unnatural...meh.
- Frostbyte v3.0 - 08-29-2003
All I can say is:
WOAH.... Seriously scary shit, man!
- Mad Mallard - 08-29-2003
I think I'm going to stop looking at the Random Chat forum.
- Darkfox - 08-29-2003
My condolences...I really think you should either A) go see a doctor or B) prostitute....heck ya never know, they revolve their lives around dicks, might be able to give ya some advice lol.
- Giznads - 08-29-2003
Darkfox Wrote:My condolences...I really think you should either A) go see a doctor or B) prostitute....heck ya never know, they revolve their lives around dicks, might be able to give ya some advice lol.
Hahaha.
Interesting notion.
- InsaneImpmon - 08-29-2003
Twisted balls can really suck. Never had it but from what I heard about it, they hurt like hell and you risk losing both balls for good. Some people go as far as claiming the alien flipped your balls around during their experiment. Are you missing any time lately?
Bent dick is not uncommon at all. In fact, perfectly straight dick like those you see in porns are probably rare. Mine's bent at halfway to the right, which for some reason made a perfect match with my Mr. Righty. ;)
I can't say how anyone could wank that hard. Maybe you're not using any lubricant? I mean it's only like $4 for a tube of KY Jelly.
One possible theory on shrinking is you're not "exercising" your dick. Some dick do get longer and bigger by regular massaging (not necessarily all the way to masturbating). If you do a google for free penis enlargement, you'd get this.
- Outlaw Torn44 - 08-29-2003
For the sake of everyones eyes I think this coulda gone in the rants, yeah.
But see a doctor man, you dont want anything going wrong down there. ^^;;
- TrippinPlaya - 08-29-2003
This topic has scarred me for life again. Dude, get a docter. And tell your dick 'Dont be a dick, dick'
- Angeteen - 08-29-2003
Normally I'd tell you not to worry so much about it, but in this case, I'm starting to go with Outlaw. See a doctor.
Correction: See a doctor, NOW! :?