10-20-2008, 12:06 AM
10-22-2008, 02:53 PM
alright. *Sharpens all my blades and lays them out*
First one to go under the knife.... ves.... is "Is that a Lolly in your pants, Daddy?" Oh yes... *Pulls out my Cleaver*
Let's see... it introduces the characters at the very beginning setting the scene well. The part about the mom committing suicide is a bit dumb. Who would kill themselves over their girls being born with dicks?
It's a bit short with a few grammar and spelling errors. The process of getting to the sex is also very abrupt and short, as well as the sex itself.
I'm going to have to give this a 3/10. Not really worth reading, even with the dickgirl Lolicon.
First one to go under the knife.... ves.... is "Is that a Lolly in your pants, Daddy?" Oh yes... *Pulls out my Cleaver*
Let's see... it introduces the characters at the very beginning setting the scene well. The part about the mom committing suicide is a bit dumb. Who would kill themselves over their girls being born with dicks?
It's a bit short with a few grammar and spelling errors. The process of getting to the sex is also very abrupt and short, as well as the sex itself.
I'm going to have to give this a 3/10. Not really worth reading, even with the dickgirl Lolicon.
10-23-2008, 03:14 PM
Lol, you just reviewed my worst lemon when I had asked someone to review my SERIES.