11-23-2006, 04:36 PM
I don't know, things have been okay I guess though not perfect. Everyone I really love and care about is in different states or countries!!
Gunter :( Gabu:( Sean:( Collin and Alexus:(I miss all of you guys so much and I hate being in this state.I'm in my senior year and so I'm still going to a community college which is good but, I don't know.This whole situation with Kirsten and Amar has gotten me tired and frustrated.I moved on I guess but she's so blind and I just wish I could make her see that he's not who he claims to be.He's a backstabbing snake.I know, I dated him for 2 years and have known him for 3.She won't listen to me though.I loved her once, but, because of him, it got twisted until me and her started to hate each other.He claimed to her that it was because he was scared of losing her to me but I know it's cause he wants control over her.Bastard.Anyways, I've been sick for the past month and well, I don't know.I've managed to improve my grades but, I feel alone somehow.Sean or CFR , is supposed to move up here this summer to be with me but yeahs, its a long way off. I miss alot of things right now and I just feel like running away even though I know that's not the answer.Happy Thanksgiving to all!!I have these 3 days off for the holiday!Yay!!Yups. I'm bored though.I've written alot of dark poetry lately and I don't know why when I'm not really depressed.I hate this feeling. I don't know what I need to be better.My nose is stuffy and I can't breathe and I keep coughing all the time as well as sneezing. That's whats been going on so far.Oh, and I met a best friend in August, my friend Becca who yeah, she's a freshman.Funny isn't it.But she's great, my best friend, one of them at least and I guess I'm scared.I've had 2 major best friends before that hurt me that I told everything to and I'm sorta tense when it comes to opening up to someone new all over again.She hasn't betrayed me yet but the other day I found out she loves me.She's bi so, yeah. I tried to write a poem saying something that would make her happy.I tried to say I love YOu but I realized I couldn't.I hate this.I hate feeling this way.She's my best friend.She makes me happy.Since Kirsten, she's been an angel of a friend. I just wish Kirsten and Amar would disappear. They hurt me just by seeing them or hearing of them. She claims that she wishes that I didn't exist but, I don't even know if that's the truth anymore.She chose him over me in the end. So I suppose it doesn't matter. Anyways, sorry for the long post, just needed to get this out. I love all of you guys here at the DaD. You guys are my other family and I'd be lost without you.Love you!!
~Dreamer~
Gunter :( Gabu:( Sean:( Collin and Alexus:(I miss all of you guys so much and I hate being in this state.I'm in my senior year and so I'm still going to a community college which is good but, I don't know.This whole situation with Kirsten and Amar has gotten me tired and frustrated.I moved on I guess but she's so blind and I just wish I could make her see that he's not who he claims to be.He's a backstabbing snake.I know, I dated him for 2 years and have known him for 3.She won't listen to me though.I loved her once, but, because of him, it got twisted until me and her started to hate each other.He claimed to her that it was because he was scared of losing her to me but I know it's cause he wants control over her.Bastard.Anyways, I've been sick for the past month and well, I don't know.I've managed to improve my grades but, I feel alone somehow.Sean or CFR , is supposed to move up here this summer to be with me but yeahs, its a long way off. I miss alot of things right now and I just feel like running away even though I know that's not the answer.Happy Thanksgiving to all!!I have these 3 days off for the holiday!Yay!!Yups. I'm bored though.I've written alot of dark poetry lately and I don't know why when I'm not really depressed.I hate this feeling. I don't know what I need to be better.My nose is stuffy and I can't breathe and I keep coughing all the time as well as sneezing. That's whats been going on so far.Oh, and I met a best friend in August, my friend Becca who yeah, she's a freshman.Funny isn't it.But she's great, my best friend, one of them at least and I guess I'm scared.I've had 2 major best friends before that hurt me that I told everything to and I'm sorta tense when it comes to opening up to someone new all over again.She hasn't betrayed me yet but the other day I found out she loves me.She's bi so, yeah. I tried to write a poem saying something that would make her happy.I tried to say I love YOu but I realized I couldn't.I hate this.I hate feeling this way.She's my best friend.She makes me happy.Since Kirsten, she's been an angel of a friend. I just wish Kirsten and Amar would disappear. They hurt me just by seeing them or hearing of them. She claims that she wishes that I didn't exist but, I don't even know if that's the truth anymore.She chose him over me in the end. So I suppose it doesn't matter. Anyways, sorry for the long post, just needed to get this out. I love all of you guys here at the DaD. You guys are my other family and I'd be lost without you.Love you!!
~Dreamer~