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Ever since the incident where he ran away and disappeared without a trace, Gun's being a total fuckhole. He complains a lot- and for the smallest things-
"Hey Vel- My room smells kinda funny-"
"Hey Vel- the tv's a little fuzzy-"
"Monty- the ice melted!"
"Vel! Vel- hey BRO!!! It's getting kinda cold! Can you find my favorite RR Comforters?"
"Damn- I dropped my pillow-"
"Uh- I think I stained Garu- can you take him to the laundry basket?"
"I'm hungry"
"I'm bored"
"You're mean"
"you didn't wipe your feet"
"Do the dishes"
"What's for dinner?"
"I thought you were at work"
"Don't you have work to do?"
"Haha- Vel- watch this with me- it's great!"

And what is it with him and Weird Al and Russel Peters!?
"Russel Peters is hilarious- he rocks!"
"Weird Al is awesome-"
"I love the hindus!"
"hahahahaha- I stuck my weenie in a bottle-"
"Velmont! The Chinaman bit is the shit!! C'mon- watch!"

And NOW he's traumatized, and won't leave bed. Fucking awesome, more work for me.

It's not exactly easy to balance schedules with my day job and Gun bitching all the time, and then there's Blue. Best buds yeah right.

I swear- if Gunter tells me to do anymore- I'll GIVE him a reason to stay in bed.

Wow, that felt great.

Okay, now that that's settled, what fabric do you think would make the most fitting noose? That neon thing or twine or what ever?

Monty-Boy we've talked about this-

You made it. You keep it.

Aww c'mon, you know part of you enjoys having your bro around. Admit it!

True. Think of it like he would take care of you if you fell ill or something like that. You have your brother as your family not as a practice target.

Not only would he "take care" of me, he'd molest me! I'm not taking that chance, I can take care of myself! Besides, I'm so damn fit- I can't get fevers anymore!

Deep down? Deep down is a beast just WAITING for an excuse to decapitate him. He's funny sometimes, yes- like when he's too busy reading his Fables comic to look where he's going, usually falling off the stairs.

....

wow. I do enjoy it when he's around.

But NOT WHEN HE NAGS A LOT. He's like the wife I would never want!

You think that's bad, trying not having brothers. I'm forced to listent to crappy soap operas when they get the TV, and not the ones on the lower channels that're so hideously bad they're hilarious but the ones on Nickelodeon! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT KIND OF TORTURE THAT IS!?

Not soaps exactly. Preteen dramas. I think that's what they could be called.

Let me outline the plot of a basic episode of a preteen drama;

Bitchy Girl: *Intent to get laid, even if she's only 11* "Hey guys, who are you going to the dance with?"
Random Jocks: *Sees through her increadibly shallow ploy* "Oh, sorry bitc- ...I mean Amy. I'm already going with Shanequia"
Bithcy Girl (Amy): *Dissapointed when she realizes she's not getting any underdeveloped cock that night* "Oh...ok....bye"

*Rest of the day is spent trying to take out Shanequia, with the contrived plans going sour at the last second with generically comical results*

*Bitchy Girl gives up*

Bitchy Girl (To Shanequia): "FINE, YOU CAN HAVE [random jock] ALL TO YOURSELF!1!!!1!"
Shanequia: "What? Oh, I dumped him when he asked me. He was looking for you."
Bitchy Girl: "REALLY?!!!//11"
Shanequia: *Weirded out* "Really...bye, I have to go to the movies."

*Bitchy girl looks all over for the boy, and finds him right before the dance ends*
*Awkward small talk and apologies*
*Dance last slow, shitty song together, than kiss and the show ends, highlighting some of the scenes in the credits*




BARF.

Shadowknight Wrote:You think that's bad, trying not having brothers. I'm forced to listent to crappy soap operas when they get the TV, and not the ones on the lower channels that're so hideously bad they're hilarious but the ones on Nickelodeon! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT KIND OF TORTURE THAT IS!?

You have NO IDEA what the MEANING torture really is. Do you have even the FOGGIEST of what Gun is into on the tube!? TELETUBIES!! He finds them to be very kinky and he makes me sit and watch with him which I have no choice but to do because if I depress him he'll expire and Blitz is gonna MURDER me!!

-and the potential girlfriends he's lost me is in TRIPPLE DIGITS!! brothers are a pain in the ASS!