Working on Chapter 1 edit and CHAPTER 2 IS DONE! >XD
[quote=I]
Chapter 1
Flames
I'm loving it so far... *grins* I'd like to see more of this.
Thanks! Good luck with...
You know what. And...
Good luck with something travel related too!
The only problem I'd like to point out is that your characters lack a decent picture for me to visualize. You need to develop the story narritive a little more so the reader isn't completely lost. What does Kerred look like? Where does Derel live? What does it look like?
If you expand the narritive bigger I think you'd have a set story, kinda like a pre-developed Eragon to some degree.
If you desire any help, I can offer some advice to get yourself some vivid characterization and descriptions!
Other than that I can't complain.
*bows to Marine* That is why I posted it here. I would be honored. (I am NOT kidding!)
To the people of the DaD: I am still improving this chapter. ^_^ ANY comment is welcome.