Me and my girlfriend started to get a little to fresh with each other and I took it a little to far. Plus she as been mistreated sexaully by some family menbers in her family. Right now she hates me and it is tormenting me to no end. I fill like I should be castrated, never need to know a tooch of a women again.
Sorry, not my area of expertise. I'm moving this to General Chat. It's really not much of a rant. At best, it's self-deprecating.
Maybe between the two of we had a half a glass of wine. It relaxed us and I brush up agaist her chest at one point when I french her. I said that I was sorry for doing that. But she said that she enjoyed it. And egged me on little bit. The problem is that she was malested by some family members, and with what happen brought those memories back to the surface. She feel like I used her and betrayed her trust. Also I was a little agrasive when she said that it was ok.
While it doesn't sound like you're in the wrong, you probably should have been a bit more careful considering her past experiences. Sexual abuse can be very traumatizing and can affect a person's judgement towards sex, even with someone he/she loves.
Hopefully, she'll find it in her heart to forgive you. But don't beat yourself up; you asked her if it was okay and she said that she liked it.
She miad sound that it was not as bad as truly was. She burried the memories deep in her subconsious mind started come to the surface.
The best advice I can offer is to apologize and be much more careful in the future. If you don't end up being driven horribly far apart by this incident, it may provide a firm grounding upon which you can furhter build your relationship. If you stay with her, and she with you, be much more careful in future encounters. Be gentle and tender, and let her know that if it starts to get uncomfortable, you'll stop. Even if she says it is permissible, this doesn't mean you need to be too forward about it, or even to do anything about it immediately.
You should go at it sober. Tell her it'll help her overcome this trauma and you only want the best for her.
She needs to overcome this fear by kindness and gentlessness. Those are two things I believe were lacking when she lost her virginity. Be a gentleman and take your time. I know it may be hard to contain your "monster" in your pants but do so untill she's really, really, really ready. I suggest cunnilingus.
MISTER BIG T Wrote:You should go at it sober. Tell her it'll help her overcome this trauma and you only want the best for her.
She needs to overcome this fear by kindness and gentlessness. Those are two things I believe were lacking when she lost her virginity. Be a gentleman and take your time. I know it may be hard to contain your "monster" in your pants but do so untill she's really, really, really ready. I suggest cunnilingus.
From what she has told me she is a virgin and her kin wanted her to perform sexaul act for them but not intercourse. Second that for me is fairly easy for me. Third she does not like the idea of oralsex at all.
I can't say anything about this as I may just make it worse. I'll ask Velmont, he's an expert when it comes to things like these...
All I know is that traumas are very hard to get past, even with the right therapy. But it can be forgotten if given an excessive dose of love, passion, kindness and gentle thingies- and other stuff like that. Worked for me, could work for her.