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Hey all,

It's me once again ranting about my dad. As you all may have concluded, my dad is a total ass. Today we decided to go to a local city wide garage sale to look around and the like. I saw a really nice hunting knife set and the spark was lit. I love knives and I jokingly said to my mom." Hey mom can I get that knife set." She asked about them and I pointed them out. My dad said no and I said I was kidding. Then I confessed about my hobby of collecting knives and blades. They saw a package I recieved a day earlier. They asked what was in it and I replied " Pictures from a friend over seas" Well here is where the problems begin,

When we got home from the garage sale palooza my dad asked to see the pictures and I went upstairs and brought down what really came in the mail. I ordered a black 5 - blade shuriken and it finally came... I brought it downstairs and showed it to him. Then he made me get my swords and other 2 knives out of my lock box. Then he proceeded to tell me how low and dirty I was to lie to him about this. I tried to explain that I did it because I thought it was in best interest of the family since they think I am unreliable and unresponsible. He gave me my sword back so I was kinda happy about that.

Here is the problem. We have had this " responsibility and lying" talk before and he doesn't see that I hate him. He thinks that my life should be an open book... well even if it was I wouldn't let him read it. I hate my dad and he is threatening to take away all my activities if I don't stop lying. He want's to watch me get on and off the bus, no dance, no friends over, no movies, no driving, no work, no nothing! I don't get it... I don't think he sees that I don't bring friend s over to my house that often because I want them to stay away from my dad because he is a total ass.

Is there something here that I am not seeing or am too angry to care about or is he right about me being a dirty irresponsible shit? :?:

You did kinda lie to him, he probably feels betrayed and offended. You should be allowed to keep stuff to yourself but try to be more honest about certain things, if you order something offline tell him about it. If he doesn't like it he doesn't have to, but I'm sure he'd appreciate the honesty and that will help in the relationship. See if you can get him interested in this or one of your other hobbies. Try not to lie too often.

Well thats where a main problem comes in.. me and my dad are like oil and water... the only thing we have in common is World of Warcraft. Honestly, we couldn't be more different. He doesn't think that I am responsible enough to own a knife.. although I keep them locked up in a storage box at all times. I wish he would trust me.. he doesn't trust me at all to the point that he won't let me drive anymore. I just wish I had the balls to be assertive with him for once , so I could tell him what I think. :(

You know what, I am sorry but considering your father is already as stubborn as an ox, the best thing to do is hope for a time when he can be most volunerable, and instead of using it against him, help him and still tell him you hate him and return to whatever you were doing. I mean its unfair that this misconduct has gone on for this long.....Collin you are a great guy, dont let anyone walk all over you, even if its your father, he wants honesty and he kust might get it....

is he your step dad or your real father?

He is my biological father no matter how much I dont want him to be.

harsh, well I don't like mine either, though I don't see him often. he is a drunk, and so was my biological mom. but I never knew her, and if it wasn't for my mom that takes care of me now then I would be dead at the age of about 2-3 months after birth.

there is a 100% chance I could become an addict so I stay way the hell clear of beer or any alchohal beverages. with that said my "father" wants me to come live with him along with my two sisters and one brother...that is if he didn't have another kid with a girlfriend of his.

the only father figures I've known are techniqally cousins, but I call them my uncles since they are my mom's brothers. please excuse my bad typing it is 6:17am here and I didn't sleep for the last 24 hours.

but...enough about my life, what is the current standing on your half at the moment?

Tangly. While you did kinda lie to him, as a parent, he should've expected that. Parents are lied to all the time. Who can honestly say they've never lied to their parents even once?

Prolly very few people.

For now, just go about making yourself appear as trustworthy as you can, and he'll fuck off eventually.

Do you mean fuck off as kill himself.. if so I do too. Now I don't leave my room... when I do.. there is an awkward silence everywhere.

Whether or not you believe or accept it, allow me to take the responsible viewpoint here...

He may be an ass, but so were you when you lied to him. If he thinks you're unreliable the only wyay to prove him wrong is by showing reliability. That means honesty and openness, no matter how much you may hate doing it. And part of that honesty would probably involve letting him know how much you hate him. Also, mixing lies, jokes, and truth is always a bad idea. When you get into the habit of lying smoothly, then contradict yourself, it makes them ask how many other things you've lied about.

After admitting your hobby, you ought not to have told them there were pictures in that package, but what was truly in it. And when they asked for them, refuse. You paid for it, it's yours, and not theirs to touch.

You see, the fact is, it was a dirty thing to do to lie to him about this. I always lied to my parents about having my homework done, or simply not having it, and it was just as bad for trust and reliability to do that as it was for you to say "Well, I do kinda collect knives and stuff", then "That packagae was just some pictures from an online friend." and then bring down the shuriken that actually came when asked about it. Truth, lie, truth is a horrible habit, and I speak here from experience. Lying to my parents is like second nature at this point, so what do I do? I try to make myself be honest when I talk to them. And they still don't know when to believe what I tell them.

At this point, your father has every right and reason to watch you and be sure you're not misbehaving and acting up. Stop lying and you don't need to worry about these things! Everything we do has a price, but the things that hurt trust are some of the hardest to deal with. Responsibility means only lying when it's the responsible thing to do, not just because you want people to think better of you. Oh, yes: Lying is almost never the repsonsible thing to do. If you want your dad to consider you reliable and/or responsible, stop lying, and start showing him that you ARE reliable and responsible.