This is my first poem here. I told myself, 'If Wisemon writes poems, so I can'. And since I am his antagonist, I would like you to vote who's better. Remember, whatever you vote for is secret.
Give me a lemon
I don't dance
Guns don't respond in the saloon
Give me a segment, four to ten
Some nerd yells for a lemon.
I swap a segment for beverage,
flame and jingle bell.
This hell asks today:
'Give me a lemon'.
It's no poetry
To see the flesh sweating
My flat got filled with leaves
I don't dance, I don't.
I would have to say that i like you poem better, I had to force myself to read his because I don't think that it had any flow, your however does and it has a charm that keeps you reading. Nice Work!
rorancrystalwolf Wrote:I don't think that it had any flow,
I disagree. The lack of commas in the first stansa increase the pace up until the full stop. Then, in the second stansa, the introduction of a comma, two full stops and a colon slows it right back down. In the third stansa, we are back to a quick pace, until the final line, which slows, then grinds to a halt. The only rhyme would be asonnance (half-rhyme) between "bell" and "hell". Why would the poet choose to use only one, half-rhyme couplet? Would it be to show that, although there is a full stop, the two sentences are still connected? The only "no flow" thing here would be the lack of enjamberment, which would be diliberate. As for the content of the poem itself, I have no clue what half the sentenses mean.
Why does everyone here like poems! I feel so left out. I don't even have an anti aguy why have the gods abanded me so
Well it is weird a love for poetry has come out of nowhere but the flow thing I was referring to was Wisemons poem not The Anti Wisemon. The poem is abstract and thats a big reason why I like it.
First of all, I doubt that you're the real The Anti-Wisemon. As I said in your Intro, if you want to prove it, you're going to have to post under your old screen name and account.
Secondly, I don't post most of my poetry here because it's too good (better than my example poem), and publishers want to have first publication rights. Here's an example of some low-grade poems that I managed to get into an online PDF publication:
http://firststeppressonline.bravehost.co...ght_2.html
Until you prove me wrong, I believe that you're an imposter. In fact, I think I know exactly which board member you really are.
ok, Wisemon, I don't know who you think you are, but you seriously need to stop criticizing everyone. If Anti-Wisemon says who he is, then believe him. I don't think he would be lying about who he is. Just stop posting things because all you ever do is say negative things about people and the work that they do. I've only been here less than a month and already I don't like you. You are so mean to everyone...just leave everyone alone!!
Quote:Just stop posting things because all you ever do is say negative things about people and the work that they do. I've only been here less than a month and already I don't like you. You are so mean to everyone...just leave everyone alone!!
Hey, I'm a pretty nice guy, really, I am. I tutor underprivileged children. I recycle while encouraging other people to recycle. Every month, I donate $7.50 to fund this site.
Besides, I never said that I didn't like the poem. Abstract poems are fine, as long as an intended meaning can be explicated from the randomness. In this case, the wording seemed very familiar, and I think I know where to place it, and it ain't on The Anti-Wisemon. After the April Fools' prank I pulled, I'm sure that certain people on the board must be looking to pull one on me, and this one is quite unoriginal. If this is The Anti-Wisemon, he ought to be posting under is old screen name. There's no expiration for lost time; RikaRyo2000 proved that just recently.
Meh, wisemon's better.
I didn't get yours-
oh well, you both rock.
rorancrystalwolf Wrote:but the flow thing I was referring to was Wisemons poem not The Anti Wisemon.
Woops, i'm sorry, I misread your previous message.