12-23-2004, 04:30 PM
Well, I'm on vacation, and yet I find that I felt much more relaxed at college. For one thing, I've spent the last week bouncing back and forth between staying at my mom's house and staying at my dad's apartment, which is driving me fucking crazy because my parents live 40 minutes apart, and I've had to bring all my luggage with me whenever I switch places.
And there are difficulties to living at both places. My dad's place feels more like home to me, primarily because my room there is a lot like my dorm room at college (and plus, his place has a wireless network, so my laptop can connect to the internet from there.) But, on the other hand, my dad and I have a complicated relationship. He's always seemed easy to talk to, but he has Expectations, and this has been especially clear lately, as I failed one of the big assignments in my journalism class. Meanwhile, my mom's house, where I'm currently staying, is much more casual, but I feel like I'm a guest at a hostel.
On top of all that, my depression has been getting worse recently. I can take medicine to keep myself functional, but I'm not able to feel genuinely happy anymore. Part of it is that I haven't done actual theatre in months, which is how I usually meet people. When you combine that with the fact that I was in mostly upper-level courses this past semester, plus one very bad experience with a study partner, and the fact that my roommate moved out on me very early in the semester, I've been isolated a lot at school. On the plus side, I've gotten better at talking to girls, although I still don't have a girlfriend (I have high standards: she has to look like she can beat the shit out of me.)
Well, it's 1:30, and I'm too tired to vent further. You may now resume your normal board functions...
And there are difficulties to living at both places. My dad's place feels more like home to me, primarily because my room there is a lot like my dorm room at college (and plus, his place has a wireless network, so my laptop can connect to the internet from there.) But, on the other hand, my dad and I have a complicated relationship. He's always seemed easy to talk to, but he has Expectations, and this has been especially clear lately, as I failed one of the big assignments in my journalism class. Meanwhile, my mom's house, where I'm currently staying, is much more casual, but I feel like I'm a guest at a hostel.
On top of all that, my depression has been getting worse recently. I can take medicine to keep myself functional, but I'm not able to feel genuinely happy anymore. Part of it is that I haven't done actual theatre in months, which is how I usually meet people. When you combine that with the fact that I was in mostly upper-level courses this past semester, plus one very bad experience with a study partner, and the fact that my roommate moved out on me very early in the semester, I've been isolated a lot at school. On the plus side, I've gotten better at talking to girls, although I still don't have a girlfriend (I have high standards: she has to look like she can beat the shit out of me.)
Well, it's 1:30, and I'm too tired to vent further. You may now resume your normal board functions...