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Okay so here I am, 21 year old male and never had a job in my damn life.

Yeah that sounds bad but there's a reason for it. See there always needs to be someone to take care of my grandmother. Not that she needs 24/7 care mind you, it's just that all the 'full adults' are so damn paranoid!

Basically all I do is a few houshold chores and play with/clean up after the family dogs, all the family dogs, some of them commute. Not so bad of a gig right? Sure on paper it's not so bad but I feel like a DAMN MOOCH!!!

Then there's the bigot factor that comes factory installed in many grandparents... You know how there's just about someone in everybody's life that almost routinely says something beyond moronic and you'd love to tell them off but if you did you'd fuck yourself? Welcome friends, the drinks are on me!

Anyway I recently got a silver lining, my mother couldn't take the BS at her job anymore and offered to switch places with me if I could get a job of my own. Of course I jumped this like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat. Well here I am three weeks later and guess what? Nada, zip, ziltch, diddly squat, not a sasuage. Not that I'm giving up hope...yet. But you know when you get that feeling that the shit's gonna hit the fan? Oh yes, the spidey sense is goin' off like no tomorrow and I see my window of opportunity quickly closing and being sealed shut with gaudy pastel paint.

Do I sound bitter? You bet your sweet bippy. Thing is I've never had much of a personal life out in the real world and honestly never really wanted one. Hell I feel closer to some of you than people I know in my so called disconnected reality. I don't party, especially don't drink since I've got alcaholics on both sides of the family tree and there's no way I'm tempting the sleeping dog to bite me on the ass.

Now with the exception of my younger brother (8 years my junior) I don't really get along with my family (or people for that matter.) I'm a stubborn jackass, I know but so are they, which makes friendly relations damn near impossible. See all my income comes from the rest of my dysfunctional clan which of course makes me gnash my teeth in frustration. Now I don't mind so much having to take care of a lot of things but when the rest of the family comes over and expects me to play host and whatnot it pisses me off. and of course the usual response to bringing it up is, "You don't work, shut your hole!" As if I'm sitting around all day with my thumb up my ass. :roll: Some people just can't accept that keeping a house clean with three dogs, four kids (ages 4 to 6) running around every afternoon and the traffic of a convieniance store is hard work.

My grandmother is a doormat, she believes that her whole purpose in life is to 'help out family' and doesn't see how she's being taken advantage of no matter how many times you try to confront her with it.

Okay so I've got my fan set up and the shit's comin' over the horizon, slowly but surely and I'll try my best not to be standing too close when it arrives.

Sigh, actually I feel a lot better now. Anyone who bothered to read this far thanks for hearin' me out, it helps.

You can almost always find a job in either fast food or retail. It's not easy, and it doesn't pay well, but it will seal the deal until you can find a better one. I've been a part time cashier for 4 years, and before that, I worked at McDonald's.

Yeah I applyed at a bunch of retail stores already, can't do fast food thugh cause I got so many food allergies it's ridiculous. If I even touch a raw onion my skin breaks out, and that's one of the mild ones. Hoping once I get some money put away I can get into college, maybe apply for a few grants or that sort of thing.

Okay now for a bit more random stupidity from my life.

A few weeks ago we (meaning my mom, aunt and I) were sitting in the living room debating what to watch on TV when My aunt say out of the blue, "I've got a movie with a tall boat." And then there were the annoyed nervous tic that accompanies a statement like that. This woman's in her late forties for chrissake! Anyway she goes to her room and comes back with Master & Commander at which point I couldn't take it anymore and went to my room to tell my brother (we share a room) the latest stupid-ass thing I've heard. So we both get pissed he goes back to playing a video game and I read through Azu Manga Daioh Vol. 1 for the fiftieth time. (I've since got 2 and 4, no one ever has 3 when I go check out the usual places I buy manga. I think I'll just special order it next time I get some cash.)

Now if you think that's stupid she topped it a few days later. I was playing spider solitaire on the computer in the morning when she comes out of her room and asks, "Have you seen my DVD of Eight Is Enough?" Now I like any sane person figured she'd bought a DVD of the show and said I hadn't seen it. Fast forward ten minutes later and she finds what she wanted sitting on top of the living room TV and blames me just because it's in the same room I was in. Wait it gets worse, it had nothing to do with Eight Is Enough, it was Cheaper By The Dozen with Steve Martin. That's right, she's that stupid. Hell ever since I was eight she refuses to call anything from Nintendo by it's correct name, she calls it an "Intendo." I fucking hate that!!

Now onto the dumbass thing my mom did the other day. We've been taping Cowboy Bebop off of Cartoon Network but we missed the last two eps so we ordered the DVD from Netflix so we could see them. Anyway when we got it in the mail I give the DVD to My mom and take some others back to my room to watch on the Xbox, later I come out and my mom turns to me and says, "The DVD is nothing but reruns." Choking back the sarcasm and trying to be reasonable I tell her to go into scene selection and pick ep 25 to which she replies, "No, I'll just watch it through." ARRRGGGHHHH!!!

Cowboy Bebop was a great show, and I'm one of the few people who understands most of the references and metaphors in it, but there's no need to buy it. They've probably rerun each episode about a hundred times by now, and there's no signs of stopping.

Wow, I hope your life turns for the better and if your mom offers a place switch take it and get away, rent a small apartment, or sumthin, If my family was like that my ass would be gone in a blink.

whoa that's weird(and kinda of dumb) and that biggest metaphore I think is in brain scratch when spike finds the tvs with londez on them

Hey Cyber Stryker, remember that email you sent me talking about one of your aunts and her daughter trying to convince you that they have witch blood running in their veins or something like...
Well in any case they're all idiots, right?

Quote:remember that email you sent me talking about one of your aunts and her daughter trying to convince you that they have witch blood running in their veins

Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that. Jeez that was like a year and a half ago... Anyway my mom's younger sister and her youngest daughter (17) think that just because they get shocked a lot they have psychokinetic witch powers. :roll: Really it's just cause they shuffle their feet when they walk.

Speaking of that particular cousin, we all know she's a bit slow for her age, everyone else thinks it's just by a year of so but really she acts like a kindergartner. The worst thing is they all treat her like an adult when in her case it isn't the safest thing to do. To make matters worse her father (her parents are divorced) treats her like a princess so she has no concept of the word 'no' which causes a whole other slew of problems. (She's the same cousin that I bought my current monitor off of that I mentioned in the "I really need a new computer" thread.)

Well I spent most of yesterday evening helping one of my cousins move for the second time in six months. She made the mistake of moving into the second floor suite of our uncle's house to watch over the place while he was gone (he and his wife are truckers.) The problem here being that our uncle's a world-class asshole.

He always acts like he's so much better than the rest of us when he's so deeply in debt that it's ridiculous. He's an impulse big-ticket item buyer which usually a vehicle of somesort or the aforementioned house. Just recently he realized that he couldn't pay for the van he'd bought and offered to trade it with my aunt's just paid of T-Bird. My grandmother liked the idea and being the 'momma's girl' my aunt is she signed over the tittle and took up the payments on the van.

But I digress... I have no idea what my cousin was thinking when she accepted the offer to move into the house in the first place when she knew just as much as the rest of us how nothing my uncle offers comes without so many strings attached it'd make a marionette puppet scream in terror. Well I said it wouldn't last a year and I was right. I’d feel vindicated if I wasn't so sore from being the family pack mule from 7p.m. to 1a.m. last night. As if it was really a surprise that'd I'd be called in for that particular duty. :roll: