01-31-2003, 04:02 AM
Going by the rules posted of deleting the losest score in each category, Weather Changes would be the winner.
However, if I did not delete the lowest score, Suffer would've edged out Weather Changes.
And if I were to delete the lowest total score from the judges, Suffer and Weather Changes tie.
Guess what? I declare it to be a tie. Congratulations to you both.
The other four rankings did not change regardless of how I adjusted the score.
So the final rankings are:
1. Weather Changes by Thunder Echoes
(Not posted by request of author.)
1. Suffer by Mr. Red Rover
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/Suffer.htm
3. Innocence and Purity by Rakamon
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/Innocence.doc
4. True Love will Find a Way by Hybrid Halogen
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/Truelove.doc
5. Silver Dolphin by ShoIshogi
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/silverdolphin.htm
6. Heart Beat by Outlaw Torn
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/Heartbeat.htm
I'll do more playing with points in a later post, but first the judge's results:
Starting things off with my results:
Heart Beat
by Outlaw Torn
Plot: 12
Comments: Being the teacher's pet has a whole different meaning.
Characterization: 10
Comments: While I could see Takato being placed into this situation, particularly before Tamers occurred, I can not see Asanuma-sensei doing this to a child.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: A rare and powerful description of statutory rape, a child abused by someone he's supposed to trust.
Originality: 14
Comments: Well, this isn't the first time I've seen a fict where Asanuma gives one of the Tamers a personal sex-ed course, but it deserves some credit for that fact Takato didn't want it and didn't enjoy it.
Writing Quality: 16
Comments: A few typos and grammar issues. Excellent job of staying in present tense.
Total: 68
Comments: Not much of a romance, but a wonderful story none-the-less.
Innocence and Purity
by Rakamon
Plot: 10
Comments: Love literally put on an American trial while the characters are in Japan.
Characterization: 14
Comments: Characters were developed, but there was little sense of why Izumi was mature for her age. Did she go through the adventures of Frontiers, or did she not?
Lemon Scene(s): 14
Comments: A little too repetitious of certain words dulled the effect.
Originality: 13
Comments: The usual way sex between an adult and a minor goes in fiction, that it was love. Putting it on trial helped.
Writing Quality: 16
Comments: A few minor errors and 'Daniel' talking to the news, who is later referred to as 'Edward.'
Total: 67
Comments: Ignoring that the romantic interest is an author created character, this fict still has issues regarding whether Izumi had any part with her Frontiers adventures and the inaccurate portrayal of a trial in Japan.
Suffer
by Mr. Red Rover
Plot: 19
Comments: More than love was resurrected from a poor, troubled, young girl.
Characterization: 18
Comments: Not only was the problems of the young couple was nicely detailed. Many of the side characters and the villain were also given depth.
Lemon Scene(s): 19
Comments: The inventive and skilled way Yolei helped Ken forget along with the sheer pervertedness of Gomamon doing some severe malpractice on a Floramon wonderfully accentuated and heightened the innocence and passion of Noriko and Iori.
Originality: 16
Comments: There isn't an element of this story that hasn't been used somewhere before, but the way they were blended together certain made it felt new.
Writing Quality: 10
Comments: The style of writing isn't an issue, Red. The low score comes from two main reasons. First, grammar is seriously an issue. Numerous typos, misspelling Oikawa's name repeatedly, and your lack of use of commas where need is bad. I lost count of missed commas at around twenty and I wasn't a third of the way through the fict. It wouldn't be as bad if you only missed the commas used to separate a name from a sentence, which was your most common mistake. Also, there are some inconstancies of statements regarding where certain things happened. I'd list them here, but they'd give away the plot and I don't want to spoil that.
Total: 82
Comments: A riveting story that was masterfully played out. Fix the grammar and inconstancies, and this is a near perfect lemon.
The Silver Dolphin
by ShoIshogi
Plot: 12
Comments: A tortured, suicidal girl and all Hirokazu wants to do is get in her pants.
Characterization: 14
Comments: Barely scraped any depth of the characters, but nothing out of sorts either.
Lemon Scene(s): 13
Comments: Short and a little disjointed with the switching of dream perspective.
Originality: 13
Comments: Mostly for the suggestion of Hirokazu being some great destined person, not Takato or anyone else.
Writing Quality: 12
Comments: A couple needless spaces, incorrectly capitalizing some words, and incorrect punctuation in places. Scene changes were jarring and switching from prose to script didn't help the story flow.
Total: 64
Comments: This is a decent start of a series, which is part of the problem. The story felt incomplete and not enough depth was given to what was going on.
True Love Will Find a Way
by Hybrid Halogen
Plot: 10
Comments: The girl gets her Sk8er boi.
Characterization: 10
Comments: Jun was decent. Davis was well handled. But that is not Matt. He is not one to open up easily.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: A nice level of detail and use of synonyms to avoid repetition.
Originality: 8
Comments: Jun said it herself. There are movies like this.
Writing Quality: 15
Comments: More than a few grammar and typo errors that could be found by proof reading this better, but the story flowed well enough.
Total: 59
Comments: Overly simplistic plot and poor handling of a key character. The story does have a sound basis of 'what if Matt meet Jun differently,' but not enough detail was given to support it.
Weather Changes
by Thunder Echoes
Plot: 18
Comments: Going out of town to avoid one kind of stress to find himself in another. While simple, this story does best fit theme of the contest, a romance.
Characterization: 15
Comments: Lola was given wonderful depth. However, you missed a few 'Jyou-isms.' For one thing, he'd throw a fit about Lola's mother drinking alcohol while pregnant.
Lemon Scene(s): 17
Comments: Nice blend of description of the act and what they're feeling.
Originality: 9
Comments: Finding a short love affair while traveling away from home is a rather common theme in movies.
Writing Quality: 17
Comments: The story flowed well and gave layers of details that helped me visualize where the story is taking place even though I know very little about Russia. The only issue is the almost synopsis feel of Jyou's life in Russia. We were told he did various things, but we don't see him go through much of it.
Total: 76
Comments: A wonderful romance that is shown to evolve over the course of the fict. A rare treat, and precisely why I wanted this contest. I would have given this a higher score if it wasn't for a few issues with Jyou and that is was a bit too simple.
Results from the ever giving Togashi.
Heart Beat
Plot: 16
Comments: Kind of manic but it goes together well.
Characterization: 15
Comments: Hard to say, Takato is forced to do things and Nami has little characterization in the first place.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: Very well described and easy to imagine. Somewhat one tracked.
Originality: 18
Comments: Never seen anything like this before
Writing Quality: 17
Comments: Minor spelling mistakes and grammtical errors.
Total: 81
Comments:
Innocence and Purity
Plot: 14
Comments: The conclussion leaves much to be desired. Majority of the plot is clear and well planned however.
Characterization: 18
Comments: Heck, you could see this story on the news in an episode.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: Good.
Originality: 17
Comments: A very interesting concept.
Writing Quality: 15
Comments: Many mistakes and errors.
Total: 80
Comments:
Suffer
Plot: 17
Comments: Solid overall, broken up a lot by meaningless events.
Characterization: 17
Comments: I find it hard to believe Ken got creeped out at blood on the walls. Some digimon characterizations were askew.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: Noriko and Cody were very well done, however useless scenes scattered throughout detract from this.
Originality: 19
Comments: An interesting post season 2 fic.
Writing Quality: 16
Comments: 'Eating at her like insects'?!?! This line and others lead to confusion.
Total: 85
Comments:
The Silver Dolphin
Plot: 13
Comments: A good idea, but I don't think there was enough here to pull it off.
Characterization: 16
Comments: Seems ok.
Lemon Scene(s): 13
Comments: Hard to follow, broken up, not terribly imaginative.
Originality: 15
Comments: Nothing too new here.
Writing Quality: 17
Comments: Good overall.
Total: 74
Comments:
True Love Will Find a Way
Plot: 18
Comments: A little cliche, but well executed.
Characterization: 18
Comments: Fits their nature quite well. Jun and Matt are both well done.
Lemon Scene(s): 19
Comments: Excellent.
Originality: 13
Comments: Did I mention this was sort of cliche? The guitar wielding hero wins over his reluctant misinformed girl.
Writing Quality: 19
Comments: Couldn't be more then a couple small mistakes.
Total: 87
Comments:
Weather Changes
Plot: 19
Comments: A well thought out and exucuted love story.
Characterization: 18
Comments: Seems good to me.
Lemon Scene(s): 19
Comments: Take this as the utmost compliment when I say 'Holy crap'
Originality: 15
Comments: This premise seems overdone.
Writing Quality: 19
Comments: Pretty flawless.
Total: 90
Comments: I believe we have a winner.
From the prolific Mr. Red Rover:
Heart Beat
Plot: 9
Comments: Ms. Asanuma is horny and wants Takato, which is really the whole plot there.
Characterization: 10
Comments: Ms. Asanuma's character seems way off; there is no real reason why she did what she did. Takato seems ok though, though a little too willing and should be
a bit more scared.
Lemon Scene(s): 19
Comments: PWP. Porn without plot as Lord archive puts it. But you know what? It is a very hot lemon scene. Come on we've all had that fantasy where the hot
student Italian teacher keeps you after class.... oh wait. That was mine.
Originality: 15
Comments: Sex with a horny teacher is hardly original, as it is every male student's dream. But the lemon scene has quite a few original tidbits.
Writing Quality: 17
Comments: Quite descriptive, and very few errors. The last line I have got to start waking up earlier
However, if I did not delete the lowest score, Suffer would've edged out Weather Changes.
And if I were to delete the lowest total score from the judges, Suffer and Weather Changes tie.
Guess what? I declare it to be a tie. Congratulations to you both.
The other four rankings did not change regardless of how I adjusted the score.
So the final rankings are:
1. Weather Changes by Thunder Echoes
(Not posted by request of author.)
1. Suffer by Mr. Red Rover
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/Suffer.htm
3. Innocence and Purity by Rakamon
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/Innocence.doc
4. True Love will Find a Way by Hybrid Halogen
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/Truelove.doc
5. Silver Dolphin by ShoIshogi
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/silverdolphin.htm
6. Heart Beat by Outlaw Torn
http://www.mich.com/~archive/anime/Heartbeat.htm
I'll do more playing with points in a later post, but first the judge's results:
Starting things off with my results:
Heart Beat
by Outlaw Torn
Plot: 12
Comments: Being the teacher's pet has a whole different meaning.
Characterization: 10
Comments: While I could see Takato being placed into this situation, particularly before Tamers occurred, I can not see Asanuma-sensei doing this to a child.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: A rare and powerful description of statutory rape, a child abused by someone he's supposed to trust.
Originality: 14
Comments: Well, this isn't the first time I've seen a fict where Asanuma gives one of the Tamers a personal sex-ed course, but it deserves some credit for that fact Takato didn't want it and didn't enjoy it.
Writing Quality: 16
Comments: A few typos and grammar issues. Excellent job of staying in present tense.
Total: 68
Comments: Not much of a romance, but a wonderful story none-the-less.
Innocence and Purity
by Rakamon
Plot: 10
Comments: Love literally put on an American trial while the characters are in Japan.
Characterization: 14
Comments: Characters were developed, but there was little sense of why Izumi was mature for her age. Did she go through the adventures of Frontiers, or did she not?
Lemon Scene(s): 14
Comments: A little too repetitious of certain words dulled the effect.
Originality: 13
Comments: The usual way sex between an adult and a minor goes in fiction, that it was love. Putting it on trial helped.
Writing Quality: 16
Comments: A few minor errors and 'Daniel' talking to the news, who is later referred to as 'Edward.'
Total: 67
Comments: Ignoring that the romantic interest is an author created character, this fict still has issues regarding whether Izumi had any part with her Frontiers adventures and the inaccurate portrayal of a trial in Japan.
Suffer
by Mr. Red Rover
Plot: 19
Comments: More than love was resurrected from a poor, troubled, young girl.
Characterization: 18
Comments: Not only was the problems of the young couple was nicely detailed. Many of the side characters and the villain were also given depth.
Lemon Scene(s): 19
Comments: The inventive and skilled way Yolei helped Ken forget along with the sheer pervertedness of Gomamon doing some severe malpractice on a Floramon wonderfully accentuated and heightened the innocence and passion of Noriko and Iori.
Originality: 16
Comments: There isn't an element of this story that hasn't been used somewhere before, but the way they were blended together certain made it felt new.
Writing Quality: 10
Comments: The style of writing isn't an issue, Red. The low score comes from two main reasons. First, grammar is seriously an issue. Numerous typos, misspelling Oikawa's name repeatedly, and your lack of use of commas where need is bad. I lost count of missed commas at around twenty and I wasn't a third of the way through the fict. It wouldn't be as bad if you only missed the commas used to separate a name from a sentence, which was your most common mistake. Also, there are some inconstancies of statements regarding where certain things happened. I'd list them here, but they'd give away the plot and I don't want to spoil that.
Total: 82
Comments: A riveting story that was masterfully played out. Fix the grammar and inconstancies, and this is a near perfect lemon.
The Silver Dolphin
by ShoIshogi
Plot: 12
Comments: A tortured, suicidal girl and all Hirokazu wants to do is get in her pants.
Characterization: 14
Comments: Barely scraped any depth of the characters, but nothing out of sorts either.
Lemon Scene(s): 13
Comments: Short and a little disjointed with the switching of dream perspective.
Originality: 13
Comments: Mostly for the suggestion of Hirokazu being some great destined person, not Takato or anyone else.
Writing Quality: 12
Comments: A couple needless spaces, incorrectly capitalizing some words, and incorrect punctuation in places. Scene changes were jarring and switching from prose to script didn't help the story flow.
Total: 64
Comments: This is a decent start of a series, which is part of the problem. The story felt incomplete and not enough depth was given to what was going on.
True Love Will Find a Way
by Hybrid Halogen
Plot: 10
Comments: The girl gets her Sk8er boi.
Characterization: 10
Comments: Jun was decent. Davis was well handled. But that is not Matt. He is not one to open up easily.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: A nice level of detail and use of synonyms to avoid repetition.
Originality: 8
Comments: Jun said it herself. There are movies like this.
Writing Quality: 15
Comments: More than a few grammar and typo errors that could be found by proof reading this better, but the story flowed well enough.
Total: 59
Comments: Overly simplistic plot and poor handling of a key character. The story does have a sound basis of 'what if Matt meet Jun differently,' but not enough detail was given to support it.
Weather Changes
by Thunder Echoes
Plot: 18
Comments: Going out of town to avoid one kind of stress to find himself in another. While simple, this story does best fit theme of the contest, a romance.
Characterization: 15
Comments: Lola was given wonderful depth. However, you missed a few 'Jyou-isms.' For one thing, he'd throw a fit about Lola's mother drinking alcohol while pregnant.
Lemon Scene(s): 17
Comments: Nice blend of description of the act and what they're feeling.
Originality: 9
Comments: Finding a short love affair while traveling away from home is a rather common theme in movies.
Writing Quality: 17
Comments: The story flowed well and gave layers of details that helped me visualize where the story is taking place even though I know very little about Russia. The only issue is the almost synopsis feel of Jyou's life in Russia. We were told he did various things, but we don't see him go through much of it.
Total: 76
Comments: A wonderful romance that is shown to evolve over the course of the fict. A rare treat, and precisely why I wanted this contest. I would have given this a higher score if it wasn't for a few issues with Jyou and that is was a bit too simple.
Results from the ever giving Togashi.
Heart Beat
Plot: 16
Comments: Kind of manic but it goes together well.
Characterization: 15
Comments: Hard to say, Takato is forced to do things and Nami has little characterization in the first place.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: Very well described and easy to imagine. Somewhat one tracked.
Originality: 18
Comments: Never seen anything like this before
Writing Quality: 17
Comments: Minor spelling mistakes and grammtical errors.
Total: 81
Comments:
Innocence and Purity
Plot: 14
Comments: The conclussion leaves much to be desired. Majority of the plot is clear and well planned however.
Characterization: 18
Comments: Heck, you could see this story on the news in an episode.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: Good.
Originality: 17
Comments: A very interesting concept.
Writing Quality: 15
Comments: Many mistakes and errors.
Total: 80
Comments:
Suffer
Plot: 17
Comments: Solid overall, broken up a lot by meaningless events.
Characterization: 17
Comments: I find it hard to believe Ken got creeped out at blood on the walls. Some digimon characterizations were askew.
Lemon Scene(s): 16
Comments: Noriko and Cody were very well done, however useless scenes scattered throughout detract from this.
Originality: 19
Comments: An interesting post season 2 fic.
Writing Quality: 16
Comments: 'Eating at her like insects'?!?! This line and others lead to confusion.
Total: 85
Comments:
The Silver Dolphin
Plot: 13
Comments: A good idea, but I don't think there was enough here to pull it off.
Characterization: 16
Comments: Seems ok.
Lemon Scene(s): 13
Comments: Hard to follow, broken up, not terribly imaginative.
Originality: 15
Comments: Nothing too new here.
Writing Quality: 17
Comments: Good overall.
Total: 74
Comments:
True Love Will Find a Way
Plot: 18
Comments: A little cliche, but well executed.
Characterization: 18
Comments: Fits their nature quite well. Jun and Matt are both well done.
Lemon Scene(s): 19
Comments: Excellent.
Originality: 13
Comments: Did I mention this was sort of cliche? The guitar wielding hero wins over his reluctant misinformed girl.
Writing Quality: 19
Comments: Couldn't be more then a couple small mistakes.
Total: 87
Comments:
Weather Changes
Plot: 19
Comments: A well thought out and exucuted love story.
Characterization: 18
Comments: Seems good to me.
Lemon Scene(s): 19
Comments: Take this as the utmost compliment when I say 'Holy crap'
Originality: 15
Comments: This premise seems overdone.
Writing Quality: 19
Comments: Pretty flawless.
Total: 90
Comments: I believe we have a winner.
From the prolific Mr. Red Rover:
Heart Beat
Plot: 9
Comments: Ms. Asanuma is horny and wants Takato, which is really the whole plot there.
Characterization: 10
Comments: Ms. Asanuma's character seems way off; there is no real reason why she did what she did. Takato seems ok though, though a little too willing and should be
a bit more scared.
Lemon Scene(s): 19
Comments: PWP. Porn without plot as Lord archive puts it. But you know what? It is a very hot lemon scene. Come on we've all had that fantasy where the hot
student Italian teacher keeps you after class.... oh wait. That was mine.
Originality: 15
Comments: Sex with a horny teacher is hardly original, as it is every male student's dream. But the lemon scene has quite a few original tidbits.
Writing Quality: 17
Comments: Quite descriptive, and very few errors. The last line I have got to start waking up earlier