"Livin' It Up"(mega lemon, drug use) *review*

[Frisk E. Coyote]

That would actually help a lot if you separated the music lyrics from the narrative paragraph! XD Great idea!

And that's deliciously in-depth, Asesino! X3

[AetherRose]

I'm pretty sure there's only one 's' in Asesino's name, but whatever.
As usual, it took me a second scan to separate lyric from dialogue / writing. When I began reading, I forget I'm reading at all and run off to fairyland where the story takes place... Granted, this has gotten me in trouble during school on several occasions, but I feel it maximizes the reading experience. My main issue is, the character would randomly start saying verses... >.>

Also, Asesino's suggestion for dialogue is a good one, you may even want to get a friend and have each of you guys read your part.But, you know, with the stuff you write, that might be difficult without getting raised eyebrows.

[Frisk E. Coyote]

Whoops! Added an extra S! Haha, sorry, it was five AM in the morning and I didn't get a wink of sleep. Edited now! Sorry for making you an ASSesino!