So high up it the sky. Falling so ever low.

[Ryan]

You know those days where you just wish it wasnt really a day? But moreso like a fight to the death with the hated?
What about those days where you feel happy but in the end blank?
or those days that dont really make since unless you know what is going on?

A lot of these questions run through my mind. But not all the time. Most of the time are the questions I think are moronic.
Like..... Even though I hate everybody. I cant stand them. Why do I feel so.... Down? Contradicting alone?
i cant stand people.... But yet I want to be near them? No..... Maybe it is the fact that to me my whole life has been kinda.... Alone.
Solitude. The most best thing.... As a kid. I stayed home and played games 24/7. On occasions did I leave the house.

But now I don't even WANT to leave the house. I get offered to go to friends. But then my mom would go "No I dont know the kid"
Alright. Fair enough. I am also failing one class. But I passed this test so it should boost my grade up a bit.
But that doesnt make me wanna leave. It makes me wanna puke. So nervous. So cluttlered. So..... Hated.
As emo as that sounds it honestly true. Not a lot of people like me do to the fact I dont act normal.

I love guns and violence. Who doesnt? People dont matter to me anymore. So what? I mean if people didnt
matter to me in the first place why should I care now of all times? If someone dies oh well. I'll see them in 30 years.
If someone commits suicide. I don't care. Troubled life happens all the time. You cant handle it? Sorry to be you.
I am ignorant. Yeah. But I think more of it like this. If I don't know them then I don't have to stress it. If I do. Spit on your grave.

Disrespect. Thats all I have to say to those who can't commit to your life. You have so much to live for. So much you can do.
All I can tell you is those cliche lines. Screw the theatrics. I might as well be talking to a rock.
You live and you die. Yeah. Thats the simple way to explain life if you see it as plainly as I do. But I see more. But why do I hide it?
It's because the main goal in everyone's life is soooo simple.

1. Live
2. Get a income.
3. Get a home.
4. Get marries.
5. Have kids.
6. Raise kids till they are old.
7. Retire.
8. Dead.

The simple perspective of things. Dont like how I think? Wanna speak out and go "Terrible way to see life!" yeah well better than thinking
"Oh the down sides." Bang. Dead. So what if life is like this though? I mean its a lot better than seeing people die right by your side.
Day after day after day. I give no empathy I shed no tears I feel no guilt or remorse. Not for those I don't care about.
I am a sadistic person. Get over it. I am the hate of my own heart. Love it.

Maybe its the fact that when I thought I found love, I also found out it was lies. Maybe I don't see the "Positives" of life.
But why or what should I even think about to change my mind about others? every one says I shall change. No I shant.
You think that since I am suppose to be on the brink of becoming a "Normal" civi. That I shall change.
You think I am like eveyone else. Or I am just like you when you where a kid. All soooo cliche. None of that works.

Talk to people become more involved. Oh yeah I tried that. Do you know what I got from each one I did try that with?
I got flipped off and told to go ______ myself. Why? People are idiots thats why.
Maybe its the fact I havent even got to see the good in people. Nah. Never that reason.
Maybe maybe maybe. Should could would. None of it matters. I just lose interest in things.

Girls and Guys are boring. People are boring. Its just how it is. How is my life justified from the rest?
It's not. I mean my goals are simple. College. Job. Live life. Go to New york. Simple simple simple.
But now I shall take it slow.

Oh and for the record I love this. A relationship to most people is hilarious. I am not joking.
Why cant someone go without sex? Masturbation too much for them? Or so low? Bah.
People suck. But I can dig it.

"Live and let die. Live life without a lie. Live you ways. Only so cold by the days.
Should I turn my back, clack right out of a steel rack.
Imagine your goals, do not give out a cold.
Now go on. And let on. And be gone."

[AetherRose]

Haha! This was a very fun rant to read.

[Ryan]

Haha! This was a very fun rant to read.

*Smiles* I try.

[AetherRose]

You're a funny guy, but try not to analyze life too much.
You find yourself in a pit you can't climb out of. :)

[Wisemon]

I think you contradict yourself a bit there, but okay. I know the frustration of solitude. The worst part is that if you ever decide to come out of it, everyone thinks you're weird for not having enough life experience or some shit like that.

[UnknownH]

Yeah but that's bullcrap. Life experience is different for everyone.

[Ryan]

Yeah but that's bullcrap. Life experience is different for everyone.

It's like this. I have a hard time accepting people and trying to communicate with them. Thats whats different between me and a lot of people. But aye. Life is life. I'll figure something out.

[UnknownH]

Hey, you do that to us. I'm sure you could do the same in real life to us.

[AetherRose]

I learned an important life lesson from Grand Theft Auto...
If you're sad and you know, bang a hoe!
Then take its cash and make your car real low.

[Ryan]

I learned an important life lesson from Grand Theft Auto...
If you're sad and you know, bang a hoe!
Then take its cash and make your car real low.

Nah. Nothing beats my life lesson.

"If you have a luger, dont be glum. Go shoot some."