Well, shit.

[DragonMasterX]

Sorry for that title, but I'm not entirely feeling positive about yesterday's and today's events with my family. I'm not gonna rant because I feel like it's not an issue since the solution is something I've already begun taking steps towards to and well... shit.

Here's the story: Last year, I flew off the nest. Started living on my own as I started college life, here in Mar del Plata. So... I guess I did well, because I never threw the towel and I did show I can be independant (Not mentioning the financial part though, since my parents thankfully provide the income so I don't have to work while studying). This year, though, my sister also came to study in Mar del Plata. She goes to a different colleges, but for obvious economical reasons, she and I had to be placed in the same appartment.

Okay, some of you already have seen my rants about our life together. It's basically just childish arguments. And I'm just like that with her: I argue and I argue and get all pissed off but hours later, a day tops, I'm all buddy buddy again with her. She works somewhat the same. Except... two days ago, morning, I was trying to catch some Zs, even though I was sleeping late, when I heard my family arguing in the kitchen.

Of course, I usually give a rat's ass about those kinds of arguments, since it's usually my sarcastic father trying to joke around with my mom who's practically the complete opposite and getting into 15 second-long arguments. But the three (Sis, mom and dad) kept mentioning my name. So I kept an ear out to over-hear (They practically were shouting anyway).

Bleh. Turns out she wants to live on her own next year because she can't tolerate me.

That night, as I was setting the fire for a BBQ, mom 'n dad decided to break it to me, and since I actually said: "Spare me, you guys were practically yelling it while I was trying to sleep.", we had a short talk about it. Mom left and I was stuck talking with dad.

One thing about my chats with dad is that he suddenly forgets about his sarcastic, good-vibe persona and you suddenly feel like there's a thousand eyes staring at you waiting for you to screw up to humiliate you.

Other than that, we had a man-to-man talk about how I felt about this situation. I gave my version of the facts and finished with my opinion. If I've to recall, it went somewhat like this:

Dad: "So, what's your opinion on this?"

Me: "To me, I think she took things a bit far this time. She never said anything about splitting next year. Other than that, I believe she's old enough to make her own decisions. Still... What she wants to do and what she can do are greatly different things," Granted, I'm sure I subconsciously pulled that line out from their discussion earlier, "We have it tough with money. It's not like we can rent two apartments just because she wants to live on her own."

Dad: "Yes, I understand. Trust me son, I know what it is you two are going through, and it's most likely age, and privacy, your own stuff, blah blah blah." <- Too long of a chat to remember.

Me: "Still... it sort of pisses me off that she'd go through this like that. I mean, sure, part of this is obviously my fault," I remember him nodding and talking about 50-50, "But I don't think there's any real reason for her to move out. It's stupid. We argue, but we argue like any god-damn pair of siblings who live together. The next morning we hug and cook for each other, and that's how it always will be so long as we live near each other. She's my sister, and she's my only sibling. Even if many times I despise her horrendous way of directing herself towards others, she's my family, and I wouldn't change her, what's more, I can't choose my family. I've been there for her, I'm here for her and I'm sure she'd be there for me if I needed her. The fact we argue is such a redundant thing in our life that I'm really having trouble thinking that's her real reason for wanting to split."

Dad: "I can tell. I already told your mother. This most likely is just one of her drown-screams. However... you two are old enough, and it's not like I can prohibite either of you to do what you think is right for yourselves. That's why I'll allow her to carry on as she likes. In time, she'll realize what's wrong and what's right. She's got more than 3 months to do that."

We talked, and talked. In the end, we decided to change subjects as mom came back. It's not like I wanted to repeat everything from the beggining and discuss about the same with an added person.

So. Yeah. Turns out I'm a horrible room-mate for my sister. Despite I've cooked for her and her friends, done almost every house favor she's asked for me and have shared my room with her everytime she'd like to come use my stuff. Don't mind me though, I know she's also cooked for me one time or another, it's just after this year, I really thought this had worked out pretty fine. Guess I was wrong.

Sigh... now I'm supposed to start looking for a new apartment for next year since we'll most likely be unable to afford the one we're currently in, since she wants an apartment for herself. Mom suggested a dorm. Geez, I'm way too much of a secluded-head to live with people I've never met before, all I do is go out for college, daily expenses and to the gym to work out.

I'm... anxious. And scared. I feel like I've been backstabbed, as well. But at the same time, I'm doubting those feelings.

Help...?

[GabumonFan]

I can't really offer help but I sort of know what your going through.

I live with my aunt and cousins and the one who i share a room with often likes to complain and talk about me behind my back.

Sad thing is my aunt is often in agreement with him and often has nasty comments of her own.

I wouldn't let it get to you.

There are just certain people who you'll never be able to live with comfortably. No matter how much effort you put into pleasing someone else.

[Guilmon and a shotgun]

So. Yeah. Turns out I'm a horrible room-mate for my sister. Despite I've cooked for her and her friends, done almost every house favor she's asked for me and have shared my room with her everytime she'd like to come use my stuff. Don't mind me though, I know she's also cooked for me one time or another, it's just after this year, I really thought this had worked out pretty fine. Guess I was wrong.

Sigh... now I'm supposed to start looking for a new apartment for next year since we'll most likely be unable to afford the one we're currently in, since she wants an apartment for herself. Mom suggested a dorm. Geez, I'm way too much of a secluded-head to live with people I've never met before, all I do is go out for college, daily expenses and to the gym to work out.

I'm... anxious. And scared. I feel like I've been backstabbed, as well. But at the same time, I'm doubting those feelings.

Help...?

Man, sounds like a bit of a bruising you've gotten there...but then again siblings aren't known to get along very well, probably a natural defense mechanism against incestous birth or something.

I shouldn't worry if i were you DMX. Just try to keep your chin up, boldly step forward and continue with your education. If you have any problems, i'm sure alot of us here would be happy to offer advice and aid.

[Wisemon]

She might be annoyed with you, and you with her, but you're still blood relatives, so you have to suck it up and ride it out.

[Erethzium]

She might be annoyed with you, and you with her, but you're still blood relatives, so you have to suck it up and ride it out.

Yep. My mother and biological father hate each other to death, and may now live about 60 miles away from each other, but that doesn't mean that they can't act like civilized human beings around each other.

[Ryan]

I live life simple. Or try to. I hate my family. But I think I may be able to help you. I would say that it could be a good thing to get out of each others hair for a while. Being roomates and being cooped up with each other can rub off on you. Then the irritation starts kicking in more and more. Thus she says your a horrible roomate. Because you two are cooped up together. I may be wrong. But Its a possibility that, It would be an issue.

There isnt much I can give you as advice. Seeing as in my family being the "Intelegent" one in the group but being the "Black sheep" as well. I can see how you feel on this type of situation. I am sorry is the best I can do. And I hope the explination above does help you some. Your a good friend DMX. You tried to help me but yet I refused to accept it. For my own reasons to follow. Now I am trying to be a friend back and give you help. But you may take the same approach I did. Or not. I don't know you that much.

Try hanging away from eachother for a while. Thats as good as I can get it.

~Ryan~

[Venin]

...hmm...interesting...alright, let me tie up a few loose ends here, first off, does your sis even bother to tell you why she can't stand you? If its because of the constant arguments, you could tell her that you've gotten over them before, so why is this different? Second off, did your parents agree to this? If I'm reading this right, wouldn't that put more financial stress on them? And third off, if she really can't stand you and you don't want to leave, be nice. Ask how you could make living together better for her. It's what I do. People are angry at me, I be nice, because negativity gets you nowhere. Say you've done most of the housework whilst living together. Be positive. She will like you for considering her feelings and maybe will "tolerate" you a lot more. Now, it doesn't mean all your troubles are over, you'll still argue from time to time, but you'll get over it, like me. I've made several errors, most are here, but I get over, learn from my mistakes, so long story short, be positive, talk to her, see how you can fix this conflict without putting financial stress on your folks. You would've considered her feelings as well as your parents'. I'm no philosopher, but I learn from experience. (or I could just as well be speaking nonsense, but hey, I think it's a good start at least)

[DragonMasterX]

Thank you all for your kind words and personal yet similar advices. I actually took the time to ask her for a talk between each other. I really didn't see myself talking seriously with her, but we did. It was a lot of emotional crap to sum it up here, but I honestly don't give a crap about living alone. I already did it last year and I didn't have anybody nearby, and I didn't break down. What had really bothered me was the fact she had gone over me and straight to our parents. She explained herself, however, and also apologized for having done that.

In the end, we both reaffirmed our siblinghood and well, I can tell I expected how this day would turn out: She ended asking me to cook something new for her. And that I did. Internet gave me the recipe for a verrrrrry similar plate in a restaurant back at our hometown. I think I'll ruin their business next.

Other than that, nothing changed. She's decided. Honestly, I told her what I thought: "Look. You're old enough and you're capable of taking decisions on your own as well as being rational and responsible about them. So I respect what you're trying to do."

And it's true. Sure, I don't like it. If I had to compare living alone at a cramped place to living with my little sister, I wouldn't go back to living on my own. But it appears she's compelled, mainly because she believes she's incapable of co-existing with anybody now that she's seen she cannot do it with me. Yes, that's what she said to me: "I thought the only person in the world I would be able to get along with as a roomate would be you, but I guess things turned out differently... Though maybe it's just me."

During the whole conversation, I found a lot of doubt in her words, but I also learned that she really wants to try living on her own out. She wants to live the experience I did before her... I can't really tell her no. She says she wants her own space, her own times, and she wants to be able to complain only to herself when the house's a mess or something goes wrong.

The conversation was over and all I could do was tell her that I'd do anything I could to help her should she need it. She kept saying it wasn't my fault, and that she didn't want me far away from her, but she says she wants her own space. I suppose I sort of exaggerated when I speculated about her thoughts. That, or she was just trying to butter me up. But she was crying all the while, so I doubt it.

Eh, I'm bad at being sentimental. But I'm glad that she doesn't hate me at least, and that she feels bad she went over me with this issue. Still... I wish there was some way to change her mind, she already said she would give up her chance to save money from the summer season to travel to United States to work for a season next year (A dream of hers) so she will be able to afford the extra expenses for the new apartment. I'm not feeling precisely optimistic about this project.

Saying "But I can change." sounds sort of relative, and a bit too drama-full to make her change her decision, but I'm way too concerned right now and I'm debating it. I'm 100% sure I'll sooner or later regret it if she really isn't able to realize her dream because of me. Maybe I ought to just, dunno, tell her I'll do whatever it takes for her to give me another chance for next year. It doesn't sound fair to me, but I guess if she was in my shoes she would do the same for me.

Should I push it and summon her for another discussion? :/

[Venin]

Then give her a bit of elbow room, and if you are going to talk to her again, say that you can get out of the way if she wants to be alon. But in my opinion, she may need company, for comfort, for socialization, etc. You said she would give up the dream of going to America? She doesn't have to. She shouldn't toss aside her dreams like that, just because she wants to be alone, she should embrace them. Dreams are keepers of hope, something to work towards, but let me ask you this; does she REALLY want you gone? Does she realize that you've helped her more than you harmed her? Now, I don't know what she's like, so I'm kinda going out on a limb here, but she should consider the benefits of havig you around. It goes back to my being positive speech. Whether you speak about this to her or not is up to you, I'm just attempting to find a solution, loose-ending relationships can come back to haunt you if left untied. Hope this helps.

[attackofthematt]

my last roommate fucked on my bed. we aint family but it is still pretty gross. but damn dude that shit is brutal