The Universe's Guide To Masturbation...

[Guilmon and a shotgun]

I can't masturbate in the traditional way, must've been due to all those crotch shots i got in school but i found a way of sort of humping my hands instead of jerking; it takes forever but it's better than nothing i guess.

You'd probably class me as Scientist in the sense that i needed a new way to beat off, but i've also tried it with plenty of stuff...