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12-08-2008, 09:15 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-08-2008, 09:48 AM by PsychoticPorcupine.)
I am making this a poll, cause I figured it would be better like that.
Ok so i first want to thank all of the people who have listened to me and gave me advice about my relationship recently. However due to unforseen circumstances this situation just got a whole lot stickier.
For those of you who are not aware of the poblem I was having earlier lets break it down.
Since 7th grade my best friend and I had been jacking off, which progressed all the way to sex. Now I don't regret any of this, the only problem is now that I am in college I wanted to make the relationship more official. He stayed up north and I moved down south for school(4hours away). I have came out of the closet to my close friends and parents, but when I asked my best friend that I wished to be official cause I do love him. he told me he wasn't ready, and that life is really complicated for him right now. I offered to wait for him but he said he wasn't sure if he would ever be ready. I have a deep love for him though, and he would be my favorite choice to make my boyfriend.
For those of you who are unaware I HATE my current roomate, I really can't stand living with him. I have been searchign for a possible roomate for the past two months now and found a guy who is really awesome and we would be good roomates. We have been hanging out for a long time now, cause my suitemate and him are best friends. Well this morning he told me he had feelings for me and that we can't be roomates anymore. I do have some feelings for him. I really value our friendship, but I also really want a tangible relationship.
Ugh so many balls in the air...
Can you guys help me I need some hardcore advice...
"You can't just do that..."
"Bitch please and tree"
"وليس هناك ما هو صحيح ، كل شيء مسموح به."
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Quote:Ugh so many balls in the air...
That's just how it is when two men get together. Seriously though, sorry, I don't have any good advice.
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12-08-2008, 11:24 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-08-2008, 11:24 AM by Crim.)
Damn it, you wait for your man! If y'all had the balls to grow and develop like y'all have, then it's worth it to wait and will make it that much more sweeter when things fold over in your favor.
Damn it, you wait, damn it, and act like you got some sense!
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PP this is my advice. DO NOT room with Guy #2, but DO see where a relationship leads. Guy #1 is four hours away, not ready to commit to you, and clearly at a point where he is trying to decide where he will take his life. Date Guy #2, see where it goes, it may be great, it may end up not so great (which is why not becoming roommates is essential) but you can say you tried. You do not know if/when Guy #1 will be ready, maybe it will be a sudden suprise, maybe it will never be, don't stop your dating life on his indecision.
You love Guy #1, that's clear. But if you date Guy #2 and it works out and Guy #1 still hasn't made up his mind, you win. If you don't date Guy #2 and Guy #1 still hasn't made his mind up, you may have passed on something great. If Guy #1 decides he will meet your relationship terms, whether you are/are not with Guy #2, you can choose to be with Guy #1 or not.
Don't hide them from each other though. Tell Guy #1, you need a relationship (give him a few days to mull it over and weigh some parts of his life to see if he is willing to commit when you tell him that you are planning to start dating) and he isn't ready, you want to see if there are other sparks out there, but if you'll always be ready for him, let him know that. And be honest with Guy #2, tell him you're in love with Guy #1, but it's complicated and you are looking for a stable relationship. The worst thing you could do was hide Guy #1, and have Guy #2 find out.
It doesn't seem like Guy #1 is gonna be stimulating the love you want in your life, there's no harm in trying to see if something else will pan out if Guy #1 doesn't feel ready to commit to you. As long as you are honest with both, you don't have to be guilty about getting your cake and eating it too (as cheesy as it sounds).
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(12-08-2008 10:28 AM)Wisemon Wrote: That's just how it is when two men get together. Seriously though, sorry, I don't have any good advice. You know, that's exactly what I was thinking. heh heh heh. I also have no good advice. Much less any advice about guys.
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(12-08-2008 03:29 PM)The Reclaimer Wrote: PP this is my advice. DO NOT room with Guy #2, but DO see where a relationship leads. Guy #1 is four hours away, not ready to commit to you, and clearly at a point where he is trying to decide where he will take his life. Date Guy #2, see where it goes, it may be great, it may end up not so great (which is why not becoming roommates is essential) but you can say you tried. You do not know if/when Guy #1 will be ready, maybe it will be a sudden suprise, maybe it will never be, don't stop your dating life on his indecision.
You love Guy #1, that's clear. But if you date Guy #2 and it works out and Guy #1 still hasn't made up his mind, you win. If you don't date Guy #2 and Guy #1 still hasn't made his mind up, you may have passed on something great. If Guy #1 decides he will meet your relationship terms, whether you are/are not with Guy #2, you can choose to be with Guy #1 or not.
Don't hide them from each other though. Tell Guy #1, you need a relationship (give him a few days to mull it over and weigh some parts of his life to see if he is willing to commit when you tell him that you are planning to start dating) and he isn't ready, you want to see if there are other sparks out there, but if you'll always be ready for him, let him know that. And be honest with Guy #2, tell him you're in love with Guy #1, but it's complicated and you are looking for a stable relationship. The worst thing you could do was hide Guy #1, and have Guy #2 find out.
It doesn't seem like Guy #1 is gonna be stimulating the love you want in your life, there's no harm in trying to see if something else will pan out if Guy #1 doesn't feel ready to commit to you. As long as you are honest with both, you don't have to be guilty about getting your cake and eating it too (as cheesy as it sounds).
Thanks, you've probably given me the best advice all week. I now have a game plan. Guy #2 already knew about Guy#1 and helped me through the night when he and I had our relationship discussion. I just hope Guy #1 and I can still have our best friend relationship.
"You can't just do that..."
"Bitch please and tree"
"وليس هناك ما هو صحيح ، كل شيء مسموح به."
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(12-09-2008 05:10 AM)PsychoticPorcupine Wrote: Thanks, you've probably given me the best advice all week. I now have a game plan. Guy #2 already knew about Guy#1 and helped me through the night when he and I had our relationship discussion. I just hope Guy #1 and I can still have our best friend relationship.
Keep open lines of communication, all should be fine. Good luck!
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Considering people tolled in with some input I just wanted to add this, if there is no chance with the person you really like, then to wait when someone you love could be staring you in the face? So you have to pick what your heart tells you. Reclaimer had some points that were solid. I wish you luck.
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Update!
Guy #2 and I are dating currently, thanks for all yoru help!
now to get a valentines day gift for him
"You can't just do that..."
"Bitch please and tree"
"وليس هناك ما هو صحيح ، كل شيء مسموح به."
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I'm glad things have worked out for you, PP...though I would've echoed Reclaimer's post, for the most part.
If you have feelings in your heart, towards this guy, PP...then I'd act on them. Situations like these are few and far between and you never really know what the outcome will be, unless you react and take a chance. I've regretted, too many times, similar situations that arose, in my life, that I never had the balls or brains to take advantage of. :-/
Congrats on your new relationship!
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