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07-13-2007, 09:16 PM

This weekend.. Dan and I are going on a little trip so I can meet a friend of his, his fisrt girlfriend..

Now, normally this would not be an issue for me.. its not the first time I have met one of his ex girlfriends even.. but the way he talks about her, I feel like he might still have feelings for her.. For the first time in my life, I actually feel jealous..

Misty gave me some good advice about it already, which made me feel a little better. but then, I hadn't had a chance to talk to him about it yet.. and he somehow knew that this was boterhing me.. he brought me flowers when he got off of work.. This helped a bit too.. and of course, we did talk about it, but it didn't clear everything up..

I don't think I am really trying to ask anything here.. just getting these thoughts out in the easiest way I know how.. I don't like feeling this way.. and talking to people.. or in this case, typing it out for people to read.. Always seems to help me figure things out. So here it is.

Sorry if this is the wrong section.. but I think this would count as a rant..

The Reclaimer · 07-13-2007, 11:11 PM

Sure it's a rant, and its rightfully felt.

However, I'm sure this Dan guy would try to modify the situation if he knew it was uncomfortable. However, and this is a stretch because I don't know him, it maybe that she is just someone from his past that he would rather remember than forget, keeping someone close, even an ex, as a friend is sometimes a good way to keep the best people in your life. And maybe that is why he talks about her, because they're good friends.

Either way I think talking to him would be a good thing to do, and I hope everything works out well for you. Enjoy your trip!

07-14-2007, 12:10 AM

He's married to you, not her. What does that tell you?

Just because he may talk about her in an endearing way, doesn't mean he still has feelings for her. Some exes do choose to genuinely stay friends afterward. Even if he did have feelings, the fact of the matter is that you're his husband, and he'd never cheat on you.

Also, take into account how deeply involved with the rest of his family you are: if he were ever to cheat on you, the family would immediately turn on him.

You have nothing to worry about. Your relationship is not under threat. Don't think of her as his ex, but as a close friend he once went out with. Then make the effort to get to know her: when she is tied to you, as well, your position is even stronger. Make the effort to become good friends.

07-14-2007, 06:31 AM

All of the things I thought of.. but couldn't convince myself of.. I guess sometimes you have to hear things from someone else before you can believe them.

I knew he wasn't planning on getting back with her.. but she has been a good friend of his for awhile, kindof like me and my first bf.. Just different circumstances I guess..

Anyway... Thanks :) I do feel better now. And it is time to go.. See you later everyone! I'll let you know how this goes.

07-16-2007, 09:24 AM

Well, that was definately an interesting experience.. Realized on the way there, that what I was jealous of wasn't the way he talked about his friend.. it was the fact that she got to teach him things before I did... >.< I know.. kinda lame..

It was a good trip.. Monica was really nice, a bit crazy.. but I've come to realize that I think most girls are crazy.. So maybe she isnt.. But anyway, we talked a lot.. and she has one of the most intensely intimidating personalities I have ever seen. Was a bit overwhelming at first, but I got used to her, and even grew to like her a bit.

Never expected to make a new friend from this.. but I am very glad I did. Not sure why we had to do this.. but I think we both got the answers we needed.. Found out exactly how Dan talks about me when I'm not around.. same way he does when I am btw... and I think he just needed to make sure she and I could get along if he invited her to do something.

I'm not going to say it wasn't awkward at first... but it was fun. We all went skinny dipping in her pool :P She said something that I didn't quite catch, which made Dan blush deeper than I have ever seen him.. and when I asked him later, he told me that she asked a couple of things.. One, how he managed to get such a "Sexy girly man" and she also asked... "How do you manage something that big into such a small space?" lol... Sometimes being totally open about things is good.. but well, sometimes it is horribly embarrassing..