A short poem..

[Chaotic Phoenix]

I made this a few years back in school, haven't gotten much feedback from it though...

'Farewell'

My journey is over,
I have defeated the evil of this land,
By my hand with the Legendary Sword,
I have defeated him,

I cry in sadness for this death, my final death,
He has ment everything to me,
His happiness, his joy, his life,
Everything that was good in him,

Before the evil Possession took place,
So many years ago,
In that cursed temple,

And now, he lies before me,
Gasping for the breath of life,
That he will not recieve shortly,
Losing his life's blood,
Through his mortal wounds,

I try to help him, and it's no use,
Too much evil inside of him,
The power he accepted, with all his heart,
Repelled the healing, and made him worse,

I had no choice, there was only one thing left to do,
He had to perish, he has chosen this for himself,

I've given the last blow,
I wept as the last few breaths left the gasping body,

And then he was still,
I stood and walked slowly away, still saddened by this death,

The death of a kindred,

The death of my blood....

Farewell... my brother...

[BlackPhoenix]

Well, Wise has me beat again. I can't write and he is awesome with writing.

I do appreciate that, but you know, anybody can be a great writer. It just takes practice and talent.

Well its not mine... I read it from a fanfic and theres a lot like this one there but you only get to understand whats it about if you read the story... but I tstill thought poesting it here wouldnt hurt...

I did think the content of the poem was pretty good. What story was it from?

Its from a Sonic The Hedgehog fanfic... http://www.netraptor.org/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=1460&textsize=0&chapter=7

Called The Awakening

[Wisemon]

'Farewell'

My journey is over,
I have defeated the evil of this land,
By my hand with the Legendary Sword,
I have defeated him,

I cry in sadness for this death, my final death,
He has ment everything to me,
His happiness, his joy, his life,
Everything that was good in him,

Before the evil Possession took place,
So many years ago,
In that cursed temple,

And now, he lies before me,
Gasping for the breath of life,
That he will not recieve shortly,
Losing his life's blood,
Through his mortal wounds,

I try to help him, and it's no use,
Too much evil inside of him,
The power he accepted, with all his heart,
Repelled the healing, and made him worse,

I had no choice, there was only one thing left to do,
He had to perish, he has chosen this for himself,

I've given the last blow,
I wept as the last few breaths left the gasping body,

And then he was still,
I stood and walked slowly away, still saddened by this death,

The death of a kindred,

The death of my blood....

Farewell... my brother...

That's more of a stanzaic short story.

Its from a Sonic The Hedgehog fanfic...

Considering the light-heartedness of the usual Sonic the Hedgehog adventure, that really doesn't fit.

[UnknownH]

Yes. I agree. Not even shadow is that emo anymore. He got over it. No he's just more like vegeta. Let me guess, since I really don't care to read that, does it have a fan character and characters from the archie comic?
Does it have a lot of angst? If so then I guessed right too easily.

[BlackPhoenix]

Its from a Sonic The Hedgehog fanfic...

Considering the light-heartedness of the usual Sonic the Hedgehog adventure, that really doesn't fit.
[/quote]

well its not about sonic its just one of the guys he met on hes adventure

[Chaotic Phoenix]

[quote=Wisemon]

That's more of a stanzaic short story.

Hmm. I guess with me modifying it every once in a while it turned into that... Not bad though is it?

[Wisemon]

Hmm. I guess with me modifying it every once in a while it turned into that... Not bad though is it?

No, it's not bad, but I don't think it would fly with the usual poetry snobs.

[BlackPhoenix]

I made this a few years back in school, haven't gotten much feedback from it though...

'Farewell'

My journey is over,
I have defeated the evil of this land,
By my hand with the Legendary Sword,
I have defeated him,

I cry in sadness for this death, my final death,
He has ment everything to me,
His happiness, his joy, his life,
Everything that was good in him,

Before the evil Possession took place,
So many years ago,
In that cursed temple,

And now, he lies before me,
Gasping for the breath of life,
That he will not recieve shortly,
Losing his life's blood,
Through his mortal wounds,

I try to help him, and it's no use,
Too much evil inside of him,
The power he accepted, with all his heart,
Repelled the healing, and made him worse,

I had no choice, there was only one thing left to do,
He had to perish, he has chosen this for himself,

I've given the last blow,
I wept as the last few breaths left the gasping body,

And then he was still,
I stood and walked slowly away, still saddened by this death,

The death of a kindred,

The death of my blood....

Farewell... my brother...

Nice poem...

[fred_18]

i'd type mine down...but its not even close to done........and guys...nice poems...sure the beginning once could do better..but nice attempt. with that said i'm gonna head back to that poem...*grabs the notebook that has been collecting dust for the last month and starts writing and thinking of things to write*

[blueeyedgabulvo0o]

Wet Dream

Silence cascading over the waterfall images,
Trapping me in its edging thrill.
Drowning in a stream that is perpetually flowing,
Starving the mind with lies for wisdom.

Flooding you with nonsense as you fall,
Grasping through the droplets to find no trapdoor.
Crashing as you find that all is dead wrong,
Wake up on some shore, with someone's eyes staring back at yours.

Water had drowned you to only refresh what's already there,
The truth is not so hard to find, so please wake up.

Lonely Gabu
6/11/07