I doubt this is any good by the standars of most of the members here.. and I don't know what caeory of poetry it would fit into.. but I thought it up when thinking about a signature for another forum..
Women can see me,
but the do not understand,
that what they see,
is something they cannot have.
For though I've no wish to hurt them,
nor give in to their demand,
I can say with all honesty,
that I'm in love with another man.
It sounded better in my head... but yea.. there it is.. my crappy attempt at poetry.
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Yes, crappy (though it does have some potential), not even devoid of typos. That's the first requirement when you intend to publish any piece of writing. Once you're done with that, I can give you a shit-load of tips for writing good poetry. Aside from the poetry courses I aced, I have gotten poems published in several poetry magazines. I wager I know poetry better than any other member of this board.
![[Image: AppealtoReason.jpg]](http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g100/baw01002/Album%20Covers/AppealtoReason.jpg)
"I looked up and saw you;
I know that you saw me.
We froze but for a moment
In empathy."-Rise Against
I only see one typo.. the instead of They... but I'm not much of a critic :P if its better than mine, its good to me lol
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I think your poem is fine, AK. As long as it expresses your feelings...that's all that really matters.
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ZERO:
The Fifth Interlude
I've travelled the world from sea to sea and seen remarkable things,
The falls of empires, the rise of mountains, the legacies of kings,
But never again in all my life have I been able to find,
A being with a body of flesh, trapped with a robotic mind.
Life is such a precious thing, a gift from heaven above,
A body that can feel the sun, a heart that can feel love,
These gifts are not for metal things, not for created machines,
Only for the born of flesh, the minds of God-made beings.
I met him on my travels once, a creature full of hate,
He wanted all his enemies to meet a dismal fate,
A mind that could not comprehend compassion, forgiveness or mirth,
He cursed the very circumstance of his unusual birth.
I asked him, "Why do you pursue such venegence, Dark of Heart?"
He answered me, he said, "Our very minds are leagues apart,
My emotions are too strong for me, I must put them to peace,
I feel I must appease them or my life functions will cease."
I said, "But Dark of Heart, life is of choices, not commands,
Emotions are not things to obey, but things to understand."
His reply, "I know nothing of choices, I was never taught free will,
I was built to merely follow commands, to pursue, and pillage, and kill."
I've travelled this globe all over, oh the lessons I have learned,
The cultures I have visited, great empires overturned,
But what a lesson I have learned from one without control of his own heart,
He lived without a purpose while his soul was torn apart.
Not a short one but no one ever fallows a thread/.... not here not anywhere else
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Great poem BlackPhoenix...is this yours? Very well versed.
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Well, Wise has me beat again. I can't write and he is awesome with writing.
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Well its not mine... I read it from a fanfic and theres a lot like this one there but you only get to understand whats it about if you read the story... but I tstill thought poesting it here wouldnt hurt...
Anyone can study and be a good writer that way.. but it takes talent and imagination to be a great one.
