12-20-2006, 01:33 AM
Yeah, I just came back from another test and I failed AGAIN!!!!!!!!! I don't know what the fuck I did to piss off Lady Luck, but she's definitely not on my side. I thought I was pretty OK and this fucking teacher started asking me about biomechanic and all sorts of difficult and twisted stuff. And I had to get up at 5:45 to get in time because their classes are late at night but their exams are always 8:30 AM. I was gonna go to another test on Thursday, but I give up. These are just not my times. Bad astral configuration, a curse, I tread on a cat's tail....I don't know, but this just can't be. On top of everything....I hadn't said it until now, but I sent my work to a local magazine that was looking for mangaka, and it's been 12 days and I still got no answer. If I could work there, I could have finally tell off my mother that what she believes was wrong and I could make a living with art. Well, luckily I didn't tell her. But just right now, I don't know what else the fucking do. I can't work as an artist, I can't see when the fuck I'm gonna graduate, and I can't fucking bear my own life anymore. Maybe I'm just not supposed to go anywhere. I feel like in a quicksand; the more I strive, the more I sink. But even if I don't fight, I sink anyway. You see people that have a deadly disease and want to do anything to keep living; I wish I could give my life to them and everyone would be happy.