1st lemon - needing a review

[Yoosei]

yup i finally finished my first lemon. it would be nice if someone could review it. I modified it a bit from the original things that I have thought for it. I mean... i was supposed to use also Yuki, but the only thing i did on my lemon actually was to mention her a couple of times. well anyway here it is my complete work.

*********

It was already midday, and the cutie two tails purple renamon is still laying down on her bed just sleeping cutely. But her sleep was about to end once she turns around on bed, facing the open window and feeling the warm of the outside light on her face. It didn

[Master Grim]

*reads*
*compares to own work*
:(

[Yoosei]

*reads*
*compares to own work*
:(

I wonder if the fact you are comparing both works is a good sign or not :roll:

[Master Grim]

*reads*
*compares to own work*
:(

I wonder if the fact you are comparing both works is a good sign or not :roll:

This is better than my stuff... *sniff*

[Yoosei]

do you want a great advice... the better thing to do is actually not compare your own work with someone's else work. it never works out that way. trust me

[DragonMasterX]

Actually, comparing works is some of the best things you can do. You can find better ways of writing, better styles, and most of all, skills you can add to your own; so in that way, you are gaining experience too.

[Yoosei]

in my case it always backfire when I compare my work with someone's else work. that is why I gave that advice, if you ask me. :roll: