Herr Mullen Reveiws at Random.

[Herr Mullen]

Where ever I go in the mainstream fandom, I hear praise for Red Rover. All I ever read of him was Behind The Scenes At The Digiartists Domain (a story I thought of parodying) and although it was thoroughly enjoyable, it really wasn't building up to the hype everyone was building about him. I expect his real talent shines in his End Game cerials (now avalable in frosted and chocolate varities), but I do not want to read something quite so long. So, I'm opting for a shorter series.

Red Rover's first chapter of "Princess Karaoke" fame, A Friend In Need.

This is a coupling with Gomamon in it. I love Gomamon: although he's got some awful later forms, he's the most fun out of all the Digimon. There's the reasoning behind my opening this page, to have my eyes battered out with bold clubs of text. It seems short, though, so hopefully it won't go on for long.

"Along" is one word. Already, Gomamon has used a trademark quick quip. Characterisation has been nailed, utterly. I can hear every character's voice in the speach. I don't think Joe would yell at Gomamon, though. He's just been thrown in jail: I think he'd be able to see Gomamon's point, even if he didn't entirely agree with it. He missed an indent. "We're", not "Where". I don't know how that happened. "Clambered" missed the "ed" off the end, too.

I do not need an advert for another lemon in the middle of a story outside a humourous context.

Several words are missing from the passage where Gomamon gets lost. I don't think that bit's very well done at all, actually.

The speech is all very good, very good indeed, but the narrative all seems a little off. Palmon is a bit plain-speaking, though.

Minty-fresh breath! Fantastic! Palmon has not neglected her oral duties in her spell as a princess.

I'm just kidding.

The sex scene seems very short, and lax on detail. It's okay if you just want perpetually aroused teenagers to get off, but it's not that impressive at all.

And then a sappy ending. It's your basic lemon, really. The characterisation was fantastic, but that's all that really made it distincitive.

[Wisemon]

Are you saying that Red Rover is overrated?
:shock:

Sorry, there was no emoticon for feigned shock.

[circeus]

I'm not going to say red Rover is mind-shatteringly good. I'm not going to say he's not a bit overrated as faras the lemony content is involved.

What I do admire of him is his ability to work out long, complicated storylines. You can read how some of the chapters in his longer series would work way better without the sex part.

Regarding the font size bit, Red admitted in some late work that he had to use these font sizes because his monitor wasso bad he couldn't read smaller sizes XD.

[Nate Hunter]

Red Rover is likely more popular for his proliferation of fics rather than the sheer quality of them. It used to be he had a handful of new lemons every update, and he did a number of pairings which were not always the most common, either in their execution or their content, or both. His writing was never "excellent" in my mind, and I may have been one of the more critical of his writings, although he did have somewhat of a knack for working out long and complicated storylines, and actually bringing them to completion. Something I've always had some trouble with.

However it's true that much of the sex in his longer series is very gratuitous, and that many chapters could have done better without it.

In all, I'd agree with Circeus -- he's not the greatest author ever. What he is, however, is one of the more prolific ones here (at least during his time here) and good for a quick jerk.

Also: Red Rover is a bit self-conscious about his spelling errors as I recall. He does try, but he makes mistakes, and he was often so quick to publish that he never had the chance to fix them.

[Herr Mullen]

I daresay he's a very inventive author, but I was only judging that story. I'm not going to read something quite as long as End Game, especially when everyone seems to have read it.

Today's reveiw is about Saber Gatomon, and the first chapter of Gatomon's Pride, Cats Do Lay Eggs.

No indent. It does, however, appear that paragraphs are properly spaced, which is always a boon.

"Also" renders "as well" obsolite. Everyone seems to be in order, though the dialogue does feel slightly out.

A spelling mistake, "bot" instead of "not", made me re-read the same sentence several times to make me see where I'd gone wrong.

I don't think Gatomon would use "lummox". I'm finding this wooden.

This whole "...normally he wouldn't have done this but..." business is an author realising he's writing out of character and trying desperately to explain why he's doing it. This fiction feels so wooden I could carve a chair out of it.

But the dialogue does seem like something Gomamon would say, I just don't think he'd be crying. He'd be more likely to be paniced.

The grammar is iffy in Gatomon's text: he's joined two sentences that shouldn't be joined.

I like Gomamon's blush, but Salamon wasn't on File Island. That's one of the big plot points of the series.

Kari's less likely to be "What!? I am outraged that such a thing could happen!" and more "Oh, goodness! Is she alright!?" And Joe wouldn't say anything along the lines of memory, except, perhaps, "won't forget in a hurry", so where this twisited speech came from, I don't know.

Gomamon is talking about the past, not telling tales of the present. And he wouldn't have thought he should have "known better": he's jybing comes naturally, and I'd have thought Gatomon would be more adult about it.

Is it Kari's time? She's going back and forth like a pendilum.

You don't need days for something like like that. A couple of hours would be enough.

Gatomon: faster than a speeding bullet.

That sort of a length would sink Gomamon. He can fit in Joe's arms, why should he render him so inadequate?

The sex sceen is as plain as a black plaid ankle length skirt.

Joe would feel too much a responciblity toward Kari's moral welbeing to talk quite so frankly as that. Kari's too traditional to talk about it openly, either. They'd both blush, and look away from each other.

This bargain is also so far out of character I can't come up with any colourful metaphors to discribe it.

Well at least the encoure is of a better quality than the original proformance. We've establish that aliens have replaced the actual characters, though.

I've always hated this "Several hours later" convention. It's a huge cop out: we should be able to tell that it's later by the way the author writes.

Gatomon is a champion, anyway. She's just a very weak one without her tailring.

Overall, if you're looking for a Joe/Kari, Gomamon/Gatmon lemon go somewhere else, because none of those characters are in that story by the sex scene.

_________________

You don't see anyone making "Congradulations Herr Mullen!" topics.

[Herr Mullen]

During one of my habitual rambles along the countryside of the internet, I discovered an author we all know and love, but who hadn't submitted this story to the DaD.

It's The Boss. Yes, the one which is infamous.

Reo and I share a little soft spot for Ken, so the story is, narturally, Five Star Service, a Daisuke and Ken coupling.

The story has no plot: it's a simple excuse for some fun. I'm not complaining, it's quite enjoyable. I doubt Daisuke would say "certainly", though. It just doesn't sound right in his voice. Otherwise, the image of a near-naked Daisuke waiting on a practicly nude Ken is perfectly grin-worthy.

Some small notes, like "...Obviously turned on by what he was doing" aren't entirely nessesary. Reo had done a perfectly good job showing us Ken was turned on without having to poke us in the eye with blunt statement.

The cheek-play, without actually discribing it, stirs the reader to the texture of both the tongue and the buttock.

The fact Ken is shown to be getting a tan for the first time with that small remark "If this what it's like to have a tan..." creates a whole backstory for why they're there. I can imagine the scene: Early one summer dawn, Ken lying sidelong over Daisuke, his pale legs in the air, admiring Daisuke's just waking form in the golden light. He mentions just how good his tan looks, as Daisuke grins and reaches his arms out to cuddle him. Daisuke mentions that he could just imagine Ken with a tan, and they begin to discuss just how Ken would get it, weaving a mediterranean senario of relaxation. Ken recalls as place in the Digital World he once went to, and the rest rolls out like a red carpet.

All that from one sentence of speech? That's clever.

The paragraph of Daisuke's workings down Ken's body is a stylish example of Nate's "Omit useless words" rule, where many such as myself might decide to discribe the texture or feel of Daisuke's kisses or Ken's skin, but Reo leaves it to our imagination, and the reader is left conjuring her own idea of the feelings, just like his cheeky bottom kissing episode earlier. The narration is magic. Even at the begining, we could feel the sunlight warming our bare arms and shoulders, and recall the peace of the ruins and movement of the water. This is how to take advantage of a reader's active imagination.

It's not just the ladies who do dialogue! I've been looking for a male writer who writes like this: the entire scene leaves sensation to the imagination through the catalogue of speech and reaction. Boss has style.

Anyone who has an imagination and a thing for Ken, Daisuke, and suntans should read this lemon. Their own imaginations will be used by a careful and sensual author.

[Herr Mullen]

I chose a random letter, which turned out to be K. I selected a random author, which turned out to be Kitsunemonn. Based on the fact that I really don't want to be reading about enemas and I hasve a soft spot for Ken, I chose Unspoken Truths, which began the Glitch series which was never finished.

We have sex with both Kari and Ken.

Well, not us. But Davis does. Let's look at the actual quality.

No indent, unfortunately. Oh, well.

These drink orderings are long, tedious and unnessesary. TK's being a little more spiteful than I think he should be. Asterics are for sums, not grammar.

The dog has strange effects on time and space.

Quite frankly, Davis's brutal manner when dealing with Kari in the bedroom does little to show the love he tells her he feels. Ordering a lady! In my day, you never ordered. You asked and pleaded.

Why didn't we already know Ken had to make a speach? Just who did Mimi say they recieving this lecture from, anyway?

The short twine of events that binds Davis into Ken's web is thin and weak. Davis would proably be too embaressed to sing "If You Were Gay" at Ken.

Smelling the..? Ugh. It's just off-putting.

Goodness, Davis is thick. The sex scene was brief and the characterisations unrealistic. Not a recommended peice.

[Herr Mullen]

This dark, eerie evening, Herr Mullen does not reveiw at random. Herr Mullen talks in third person, and looks back a year, to his very first lemon.

This evening, I shall be brutal in a self evaluation of my own holiday lemon, Hallwe'en.

A bit lacking in format, as the title isn't centred, underlined, or emboldened as is standard in my fictions. I've managed to split a paragraph where I shouldn't have, either. On the plus side, it's a good introduction to the senario, but it's far too brief.

The thoughts aren't right, either. No speachmarks, should have a semicolon at the begining.

The discription is far, far too brief. This is a consistant failure throughout the peice. It's basicly a list of events, one after another. nothing terribly interesting.

The image of Koushiro is out of character, however it is with humourous intent. The antropomophic personification of Daisuke's blood is actually quite funny, however "All night long" just seems out of place.

TK's singing, though intended to be humourous, is out of character. He's French, not English, so how he would know Robbie William's "I Don't Want To Rock, DJ" is beyond me.

Though it's small smile worthy, the narration overuses paragraphs and is somehow awkward.

A missed indent.

Wormon's more restrained than that, and Jyou wouldn't even think of turning up as the Kaizer. It's just mean, and in poor taste, too.

Far, far too brief. The whole thing moves too fast.

This unrefined self narration serves only to break up the story. it's not funny, and simply provides a good little bit about fireworks into it. Other than that, it's silly.

Missed the "n" from "done".

A blazer is not a coat: it's a jacket. The humour in the difference between men and women, however, is just fine.

"Sock" is singular, and "them" is plural. someone missed an "s", I think.

The self narration is simply silly, and the bit about the party is largely irrelivant.

Missed an indent. The sex scene is brief, and without any actual discription.

The cheesy movies thing is actually rather funny, and has since become a running gag.

Another missed indent.

The ending seems weak and rushed.

In conclusion, not that great.

[circeus]

Wile your point still stands, Takeru's not French, he is of French descent (via his maternal grandfather IIRC) and of Japanese raising. I don't think there was ever a reason to think he had a French cultural background.

[UnknownH]

And I think robbie williams is popular in other parts of europe. But that doesn't chage the fact that the video of that song is creepy.