08-29-2006, 11:38 AM
Hey, congrats Herr Mullen and Nate Hunter, I look forward to reading these when they come out. Oh and sorry about the story length issues Nate, prehaps I went a little overboard, I'll try to stay within the maximum next time.
Oh, and just a few things in regards to your comments, Mullen.
Plot: It was (or should have been) implied that there was some past between the two, I figured I'd leave it up to the reader, but prehaps I should have slid in a few more details.
Character: Curses, foiled again! I tried to make Lilly not so much of a damsel, but I guess it's hard to break old habits. I'm glad you like the rest of the cast however. I put in a good deal of research and rewatched the old episodes to get a good feel on BlackWarGreymon, Azulongmon, and Digitamamon. Nice to see my efforts weren't wasted here. Oh, and I'm happy to see someone got a laugh out of Doumon and his origins. I do love writing for the villians.
Lemon: This is why I try and stay away from using virgins, and I know it was vulgar in some parts, but considering you still gave it a 17, I'm assuming you still found it acceptable.
Quality: I'll work on not being so repetitive and I'll try to improve my vocabulary, I've been thinking about buying a new thesaurus. At least it seems you found my work to have an adequate amount of poetic devices and such.
Semantics: Well, no one's perfect, but thanks for the insight, I'll refrain from using parathesis in the future for thoughts.
Well, considering you still gave me an 82 total, it seems you enjoyed it so I can walk away with my head held up high.
Oh, and just a few things in regards to your comments, Mullen.
Quote:Plot: 15/20. (Why did Doumon think Lilly loved him? Was there a past?)
Character: 17/20. (Lilly was just a damsel. Doumon, Digitamamamon and Azulonmon were just cool.)
Lemon: 17/20. (Believability.)
Quality: 15/20. (Obvious stick in the eye, rather usual vocabulary.)
Semantics: 18/20. (Just the occasional spelling mistake and those thought brackets.)
Plot: It was (or should have been) implied that there was some past between the two, I figured I'd leave it up to the reader, but prehaps I should have slid in a few more details.
Character: Curses, foiled again! I tried to make Lilly not so much of a damsel, but I guess it's hard to break old habits. I'm glad you like the rest of the cast however. I put in a good deal of research and rewatched the old episodes to get a good feel on BlackWarGreymon, Azulongmon, and Digitamamon. Nice to see my efforts weren't wasted here. Oh, and I'm happy to see someone got a laugh out of Doumon and his origins. I do love writing for the villians.
Lemon: This is why I try and stay away from using virgins, and I know it was vulgar in some parts, but considering you still gave it a 17, I'm assuming you still found it acceptable.
Quality: I'll work on not being so repetitive and I'll try to improve my vocabulary, I've been thinking about buying a new thesaurus. At least it seems you found my work to have an adequate amount of poetic devices and such.
Semantics: Well, no one's perfect, but thanks for the insight, I'll refrain from using parathesis in the future for thoughts.
Well, considering you still gave me an 82 total, it seems you enjoyed it so I can walk away with my head held up high.