Doom's lemons: post your comment here!

[Doom-lemons]

Hi, here my author's topic. You can post your comments on my lemons here. To read them, just search Doom in the lemon section or click on this link http://digiartistsdomain.org/lemons/doom/

[Doom-lemons]

So, what do you think about my first lemon? How do you find it, what do you like/don't like, suggestion, what about my writting style, ... Remember that SaberGatomon corrected my lemon.

I will make a series with Foxie and Dom. For now I'm working on the third (6800 words and I am to the 2/3 of the chapter)

BTW, I submitted my second chapter (better than the first) 4-5 days ago and it is not posted.

[Anonmon]

Death to all Renamon!

[Wisemon]

Death to all Renamon!

This lemon got great reviews on the DHZ, but you're right, the fact that it's a Renamon lemon immediately disqualifies it from being remotely satisfactory.

[Herr Mullen]

I'm afraid that the style couldn't really hold me. I closed it after the Leomon; I'm not really that good with series three, those stories never hold me. The tenses were rather odd. He was having a flashback with future tenses? It mkes no grammatical sense! Also, "I would have my cellular on me"? Usually, that's followed with an "if". No-one talks like that; it's "I'll have my cell."

The business of the the page shocked me when I loaded it up. It really is awfully busy with it's lines, big titles and such.

But what I did love was the indent. Hurrah! I'm always happy to see an indent online. People neglect them, now-a-days. Thanks for brightening my day slightly by assuring me all hope isn't lost for the indent, even if it might be for conventional tenses.

[Gunter VanCrimson]

What happened? What's with the sudden hatred of Renamon?

I guess we are... kinda overloaded with her...

[UnknownH]

Yes. That's happened before. There can be too much of a thing.

[Gunter VanCrimson]

I agree, too much of something can lead to an overdose and a mental lapse.

[EpsilonZX]

What happened? What's with the sudden hatred of Renamon?

I guess we are... kinda overloaded with her...

Heh, too much of a good thing I guess

but yeah, it is soooo very easy to right about Rena, she brings little to the table after some 100+ stories and pictures, we have seen her in ever position wearing every different piece of clothing, and acting out every personality we gave her

only Renatamer really did a good job with Rena, I guess we could say Rover did too but he's Red Rover, we would read anything he wrote just because