Need Help On Openings

[Marine]

No matter how hard I attempt to create one, it never comes out right. The opening hook, the first sentence, the first paragraph, the first page, all of it so important and I'm going nuts trying to make one of my own!

The most ironic thing is that I have everything else planned out, the plot, characters, setting, background - everything, only to be denied by the blasted white screen! Oh the unescapable drama!

I'm trying to center my opening around a certain setting piece that will be the centerfold for the opening scene. It takes place in the Digimon Emperor's base, where the main character, Alistair Lorne, tries to recapture armor-digieggs used in the Engine Sanctum (Engine Sector) of Ken's base. With him is the female heroine, Caden Sario, and a contingent of 'Purgatory Troopers'. They hail from the infernoes deep inside the digital world in a soceity called 'The Foundry'. Like Gennai, these people create digi-armor digieggs for chosen children.

>This story will illuminate the adventure of Foundry Marshal Alistair Lorne and the heroic battles to recapture eggs that have been stolen from the Foundry's Gale Factorum.<

But I still need to friggin figure out how to open with such a plot like this one!

[Herr Mullen]

Open with a muse. "It's funny, isn't it, how, sometimes, being inside an evil megolomaniac's base, hanging off the edge of a dangerously high walkway, that sometimes, you just want to appreciate the way a lady looks at you when you're doing something dangerous?" Muses csan create a setting, establish character, and are a fantatic introduction the to narrator, who is the most important character in the story, as he, or she, is the one people will be reading most of the time.

Now all you have to do is come up with something fun to read.

[Marine]

Now all you have to do is come up with something fun to read.

Is my plot idea bad?

[Herr Mullen]

Now all you have to do is come up with something fun to read.

Is my plot idea bad?

No; I meant that my little example wasn't that great, I wasn't really putting any effort into it.

[Nate Hunter]

Also effective can be a tidbit of lore -- indication that this is part of a greater world with a history beyond the beginning of the story and a life beyond the end -- to catch the reader's attention.

This world wasn't always like this. The Foundry had once been a peaceful place, but that had all changed a long time ago...

And then go on with a bitmore about how things changed before the story begins.

I like to use a number of techniques so my stories vary. You may supply interpersonal connection:

I had an old college buddy of mine, that my wife, Linda, and I had in common. We hadn't seen him and his wife in some time, and I had heard that he was having wife problems. I had a solution for him, if he was daring enough to try.

You could as easily place a name in place of "I". Or perhaps a contrast in the opening. A small historical tidbit could be lore or contrast, or even a bit of both.

She wasn't always like this. No. In fact, once she had been hideous, lacking the sleek coat that now made her beautiful. Her body had stored too much fat upon the chest, making her too top-heavy to be truly beautiful, and she had suffered from a number of disorders.

Or you can use establishing points, and this helps a lot more if they can contrast what the reader may expect.

Takeru couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Hikari under friendly circumstances. He decided it was because remembering was too hard, as he picked up another bottle of beer. It was weak, but until he made it as an author, he couldn't afford better. He'd learned long ago not to let the alcohol control him, but even Yamato worried for his health.

Yes, I am mostly teaching from my work here. But many other authors have their own skills as well. Most important though, is that the opening sentence will hook them, but the opening paragraph will sink the hook deeper. Here are a few of my opening lines:

If anyone from before could have seen her, she would have been embarrassed.

Hikari woke up in darkness.

Yamato had been studying hypnosis as a stage act before he decided that he was really into music.

At the end of a dusty road, in the middle of a desert, there is an oasis.

It was saturday evening, and it was spring time.

It had taken months of secrecy, avoiding her parents' suspicions while spending more time than normal in her room.

Not all of these are great hooks. Some assume the reader is already going to read, others try to catch them. In my opinion, the first one there is the best, while "It was saturday evening, and it was spring time." is the worst of this selection.

In your case, the best choice is probably throwing the reader into the action with something like:

"Alistair froze as he heard a sudden noise coming from behind him."

[Wisemon]

You're not going to like what I'm about to tell you, nor are you likely to find it very constructive. Your biggest problem with openings is that you're starting with your original characters. When you're writing fan fiction, and you want to hook the reader, ideally, you should start with your readers' favorite characters, or at least ones with which the reader is familiar. As you progress, you can enter your original characters.

[Herr Mullen]

You're not going to like what I'm about to tell you, nor are you likely to find it very constructive. Your biggest problem with openings is that you're starting with your original characters. When you're writing fan fiction, and you want to hook the reader, ideally, you should start with your readers' favorite characters, or at least ones with which the reader is familiar. As you progress, you can enter your original characters.

Good advice, actually. "Have sympathy for your audience!" The Emperor is a favourate of many.

[Marine]

The only problem with that notion is there's no 'original character' that's involved with this story (except for Black Wargreymon and or Flamedramon). Ken could be in the proglogue but that would be it for the duration. I want the story to focus around the origins of the digi-armor digiegg and the forces which make it so, and the abiminations that vye for its power.

I don't even consider the story a fan-fiction, albiet the digimon and digi-armor-digieggs...

[Nate Hunter]

Well, Wisemon has a point, however this can't always be done -- fanfiction can exist without any established characters involved, and in such cases his point is worthless.

If Ken is going to play a major role in the story, certainly it will be wise to hook the reader through use of Ken. However if he is only a minor character, there is no sense hooking them with him -- this bait and switch will only leave readers dis-satisfied with the story, as the hook will have left them expecting more Ken. Keep in mind the hook is not only the first sentence, but the opening paragraph, and always remember that the hook should involve the World or the Character. Never confuse your reader by involving anything or anyone else in the hook.

If the focus of your story is your OC, then hook the characters on your OC.

[OC] was having a bad week, and this latest event was the worst he could ever have seen.

[OC] stood proudly against his rival.

When [OC] had signed up for [activity/unit/froce/etc.], this was not what he had been expecting.

The hook should catch the reader not because of a character they like, but by making a story they will read. Sequels never need as good of a hook as initial stories, because they already have the charater(s) in place. But an original fanfiction treated separately from the series needs to have a good hook.