First let me say that I've been through a similar situation in terms of having unfaithful parent{s}. Back in 1994 my folks were going through a hard time. Their love for each other just died and one day my father left our family going across the country to Idaho. He was still married when he had an affair getting the woman pregnant. He then came back, they got divorced and he moved to Idaho. Since then he's moved at least 7 times from Idaho, back to New York, different areas of New York before finally settling in the state of Washington. Now its 2006 and I've learned to forgive him.
I only see him about 2 times a year. He has MS and is on disability. Before moving to Washington, he actually worked in a tall building mere blocks from where the WTC once stood. So basically I'm not sure if you're trying to express that you're going through is difficult, but know that you're not alone. According to statistics, half of all married couples get divorced. Now about your situation, I must know how old are you? Cause my father didn't get involved in sending me anything adult oriented until I was 18. I remember back in 3rd grade, he wouldn't let me see Jurassic Park.
If you are under 18 I'd have to say what your father is doing is not right. In a sense it might even be against certain laws. Then again I didn't even consider my father to be my ''father'' after what he did at first. Even if he's been caught cheating or openly admitted it, blackmailing should be avoided. It's underhanded and there's no need to stoop to his level. Once again if you're underaged then it would be in your best interests to tell your mother. Please don't think of this reply as orders or like a consuling point of view. I can't decide what you should do in your life although you did ask for suggestions which I'm providing.
I also think if you're family is going through so much deceit that maybe divorce would be a good option. I didn't think of it at first, but in the end it was the best decision that could have been made. Sure I had to move, change school districts and mourn for my father every single night yet if he were to stay married things would have seriously gone down, down downhill from there.
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I'd blackmail for a dirtbike or something, but I don't know if you should listen to me I don't tend to think things through.
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
Porn links? I'd definitely tattle that one out. honestly, who needs a relationship like that with your dad?
And blackmail only makes bad situations terrible!!!
---though you may end up with an iPod in the end--- :roll:
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You don't actually mention blackmail. You just drop hints at stuff that's interesting and hope they start thinking, 'If I get him this he won't rat me out.'
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
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If you don't like him, bust him big time. Short term pain, long term gain, for both you AND your mother. Just make sure that what you have is concrete enough evidence that you can actually bust him. If you go to your mom with a porn site, he can just say that you found it on your own.
If you really wanna catch him though, I'm sure some of us here would be more than willing to help you engineer an airtight plan to throw his ass out of your life with no problems.
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Hmm.. ideas.. i could think of nothing but this in school today.. I am 15 ( FYI) and I realized that he was cheating on my mom when I went on his computer in the summer of 2003 and found about 30 e-mails that were "invitations" to certain girls and their homes. I got sick to my stomcah and kept it quiet. He was a trucker then, now he is working in a factory thing and is the productio manager. He rarely sees me, my mom , or little brother. Between my mom and dad there hasn't really been any friction but my lil bro is suffereing big time ( he is 6). He has begun to come to me more than my dad with problems, my dad is just some stranger that visits at night and on the weekends. My dad is a dirtbag .. in fact yesterday I cleaned up the kitchen as usual.. he made a sandwich and yelled at me to pick eveything up after him. He likes to put me down too but I have awesome frineds everywhere to help with that. He is beginning to work my nerves and I think that action will soon be needed. I have also noticed that his AIM sn is like " will stop 4 u anytime" or " will stop 24/7" ... something like that ... :( i have no idea what to do :cry:
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You definately got the upper hand on him. Save the original e-mail he sent you, make sure he doesn't have your password so he can erase it, and you have proof. It would have his E-mail address on it making it impossible for him to deny and you can use it as evidence to your mom proving that he is causing some serious emotional distress for you (especially if it's that satanic stuff). If you think your mom wants him out of the house but can't bring herself to do it, then the next time he yells at you yell right back, if your mom sees him do anything his ass will be out of the house faster than a rabies infested cat, many mothers will take their child over a spouse in a heartbeat. He's obviously creating alot of emotional pain for you and your brother, so I suggest the two of you stick together NO MATTER WHAT! If it sounds as bad as I think he probably needs you right now more than anything, ya don't wanna leave him.
"Stand tall and shake the heavens!" - Xenogears.
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I never would leave him.. we are kinda like Matt and TK.. heh anyway the link ghe gave me was in words not a e-mail so i can't do that.. but i might be able to squeese it out of him again... the site wasn't satanic there was a supposed link on htere that takes me to it.. so yeah..
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Yeah, sounds like he's really the kind of slime that gives men a bad name. I, for one, would be an advocate of getting him tossed out. Sounds like he's doing nothing but taking advantage of a "comfortable" family living situation.
You have an opportunity to really make a big change in your family's dynamic. Just know that if you decide to go through with it, it's going to get ugly very quickly and feelings are going to get hurt. There will also be no going back. But if you really think it's something that needs to be done, then you should do it.
I might just let it slide but i don't know yet. Any suggestions? ( for the full story on my dad check the "whats eating ya?" forum i went off in there about him)
